I don't know who I am anymore

Forgive the rambling... I'm not going to edit, proofread, spellcheck or even look at what I'm writing. I'm just gonna talk and let the words flow. If they make sense, that's a good thing I guess and if they don't, well at least it will be cathartic for me to get them down on paper (as it were) and get the words and the feelings off my chest.

I woke up at 4 am this morning and went outside to gaze at the morning sky with my oldest, dearest cat Jazzy. My poor sweet Jazzy has sore ears... because she's an all white cat and the sun does a real number on her poor delicate little ears every year.

Anyway, I found myself telling her, ( yes, I talk to all my cats. Don't you?) that now that we're almost in winter, things will be cooler and her ears will feel better. And then I caught myself. I'm in Australia now and we're coming into summer here... not winter.


See, I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore. I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha. I don't know if it's just because I'm incredibly homesick and missing the whole Thanksgiving / Christmas season back home and everyone who is a part of it, or if it's because I'm just not as adaptable as I thought I was.


I've been here for 13 years and I've settled into my new life. I have a job I love, I'm in the process of buying a house that I love and I have a lot of dear friends. But I don't feel the "the fit" anymore. Did I ever really feel "the fit"? Or did I just convince myself that I could make a new life here, far away from everyone and everything that I hold near and dear? Have I been faking it for all these years?

I just dunno.

Don't get me wrong. I love Australia, I really do. It's not that at all.. it's more a feeling that Australia doesn't love me in return. I've tried and I've tried but no matter what I do, it will never be "home" to me. My heart hasn't been touched and I have the feeling that it never will be.

I miss the sights and sounds and smells of living in a small town. I miss my family more than I can say. And it just feels so wrong that I'm here and they are there ... when we should be together. I came here thinking that life was short and that you need to live your dreams while you have the chance. Well, I did that. At least one of my dreams anyway. But life is short and I'm missing out on too much that really matters to me.

I just want to go home.

Nostalgic commercials

I want my MAYPO !!
I wanted it too, but I didn't like it at all.

Sunbeam bread. With every one's favorite cowboy - Gene Autry ... reminding us to replace our pep and zip... Yep, that's what I always associated with healthy eating. Cowboys who lived on beans and coffee. Peppy and zippy

Some friends and I were talking about nostalgic commercials last night.

You know the ones. The one's that we used to watch when we were younger. Stuff that brings back memories of the products that we used to use before we moved to Oz and old products that they don't even make anymore. Or even just funny stuff that used to make us laugh.

Anyway, while I was searching on-line for old commercials, I ran across this one. And laughed my patootie off.

Again and again...

Injured. Injured bad

What are YOUR five adjectives?

It's one of those days again. My mind is going a million miles an hour and my body is going absolutely nowhere. It's too early to go anywhere. It should be going to the kitchen to finish up the dishes that didn't get done last night, ( hey I did most of them... really) it should be tidying the paperwork from the last week of work, it should be doing just about anything other than sitting in this chair getting terminal "bum spread". But like I said... It's too early. The most physicality I could manage was getting the coffee going. And so I'm takin' a break after all that hard work.

Adjectives keep running through my head. Words that I would use to describe myself.

Words that you would use to describe yourself. Words that others would use to describe you.

You know....

Smart

funny

kind

lazy

messy

(those are just examples. Not that I'm any of those things.)

So here’s my double-parted question:

1. What are your five adjectives? How would YOU answer, with a list of only five items, the question “WHO ARE YOU?”

2. And what five adjectives would someone else use to describe you?

Put yourself in their place and use five words that they might use.

It could be your partner, your child, best friend or even the butcher for all I care.

Rattle them off and say the first things you think of, or think deep thoughts and scrape the very deep-down bottom of the barrel depths of your psyche. You're amongst friends here and we won't judge.

I don't want to influence anybody, so I'll wait until the end of the day to answer with my five adjectives.

Plus it will give me time to think of something.

And I really did do most of the dishes last night. I just left some stuff to ermmmm... soak. Yeah that's it. They're soaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay... I meant to list my adjectives last night but then I ended up falling asleep during "Polar Express" and missed the end of the movie. Which is my favorite part.

I must have worn myself out working in the yard yesterday. Not that anything looks done out there, but it was satisfying anyway.

So..... my five adjectives are:

Kind

Loving

Disorganized

Mom

Predictable

And what others might use when they think of me:

Kind

Caring

Gullible

trusting

hard-working

I don't know what any of that means, actually. I mean... there are so many facets and sides to us, depending on the situation and who we're with, aren't there?

~~~~~~

Okay, well, I just rang my guy up at home and woke him up. Once I had allowed him to make himself a cuppa and once he had both eyes open and his listening ears on, I asked him to use 5 words to describe me.

"C'mon babe... This will be fun. Just tell me 5 adjectives that you think describe me. Be honest"

Well, his answers were totally wrong. Totally. It must have been because he was still half asleep.

His were:

1. plump ( although he changed this to "curvey" when he heard my sharp intake of breath)

2. crabby

3. nice ( does this mean I'm nice and crabby?)

4. caring

5. stubborn

I don't know what I ever saw in the guy in the first place. He doesn't know me at all.

We won't even go into the 5 words I would use to describe him.

Happy Thanksgiving !

I know it isn't quite Turkey Day in the US yet (because you're a day behind us) but it is "Thanksgiving Thursday" here in Oz... and my mouth is all droolin' and the tears are welling up, just thinking about a sharing a delicious Thanksgiving dinner with much-loved family and friends.

Until I saw this guy.
Now I think I may just get take-away for dinner.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving... and that your day, and your dinner is truly wonderful !!

Just don't look at Herbert here.
He'll ruin your appetite.

Still Wordless ...

I just figured if I was gonna sit here with a lump in my throat and an ache in my heart, y'all should see where the ache comes from. What's causin' it.
I want to go home.
I have no business at all, living in the suburbs.






The Columbia Fire Station

Main Street, Columbia

Downtown Angels Camp

Melones Lake

Wordless Wednesday

Just missing home...






Angels Creek

Vineyards

Old Cabin

Big Trees park

(my old backyard)

I got to eat with another grown-up last night !

I got to eat with another grown-up last night ! Woooo doggies !

Well, I actually get to eat with another grown-up most nights of the week , but I'm sad to say, "my guy" doesn't really count. I mean he does count, but it was so good to get out of the house and have a conversation with someone else for a change. You know what I'm saying?

How sad is that... and is it indicative of our "slightly more than a little bit used to each other" relationship? No, on thinking it over ( I'm a real quick thinker, aren't I?) we have a wonderful relationship...
But you know how couples seem to hash and rehash conversations ad nauseum and have that "predictability" that comes with long-time familiarity?

You know before you even see a menu what he's going to order, because he's so darn predictable.

You know when he channel surfs, that he's going to end up with a crime show and not even look at something different.
Because he's so darned predictable.

You know that when you're talkin' with girlfriends that he's gonna start cringing and make himself scarce.
Because he's so darned predictable.

" I've got to go babe. I've got ummm.... laundry to fold at home. Yeah.. laundry. Gotta go do it" and he heads out the door so fast that everything in the room vibrates in his tail wind. And not that kind of tail wind... although it's not totally unheard of either. Just not usually when there's company around.

Unless it involves visiting with a friend that he loves to bits. Then he hangs around.
See, we had dinner with Miz K last night, who was/is in town for a few days working at our local branch of where she works. (trying to maintain her anonymity here) and we got together at a semi- local restaurant called Zaragosa, that specializes in Mexican / Spanish food.
Food that isn't typical here in Australia at ALL, because there just isn't much "south of the border" influence here... for some strange reason. Unless you count Tasmania. Which really doesn't count. Because there IS no border.

Anyway, the meal was great, the prices were reasonable and the company was even better. It felt so darn good to talk about t-shirts and real estate and home renovations and just ... stuff while enjoying some good food and almost authentic ambiance. ( I loved their Christmas tree with "south of the border" inspired chili ornaments) I had the "la mexicana combinación" as did my Über-predictable guy and Miz K had the "seafood fajitas"... that looked absolutely yummy and made me (slightly - only slightly) regret my choice.
It was a lovely meal... we had us some great company and conversation... and it was just a wonderful night all 'round. I was sad to see it end, but I know we'll do it again soon, because Miz K is just so relaxing and comfortable to be around... you know? She's just made that way.

I'm going to try to re-adjust my schedule for next Saturday ( my guy is retired, so he has no schedule to worry about, unless it concerns folding laundry at inopportune times) so that we can get together with Miz K again, for Thanksgiving dinner at her and Mister K's house.

Yummm...Mexican food and Thanksgiving dinner with good friends... all within 6 days of each other!!!
Is my life fantastic, or what??

Some of my favorite things... ermmm.. Blogs

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things...
~~~~

Gosh, that song always makes me want to just get up and dance around and swirl my skirt.. and I know that you were all singin' and swayin' along with me, weren't you? Weren't you? Oh my goodness, don't tell me that I'm the only one who knows all the songs and dances and sways around like an idiot to "The Sound Of Music". *gulp*
Pretend that I didn't just admit to that.

Y'all know I love ALL the blogs that I follow... ( or I wouldn't bother following them, now would I ?) but there are 3 in particular, that are near and dear to my heart and they are among some of my favorite things.

So if you find the time, head on over and check them out.

Narelle at Moments For Mum and Tania at Out Back are both in the same "biz" as I am... and to be quite honest, it takes someone incredibly special to do what we do for a living. Not that I'm blowing my own horn, because I'm not.. but I am blowing it for these two gals, because they are such lovely, warm, caring, women. They've got nerves of steel and hearts of gold - which you have to have when you're caring for other people's little munchkins every day.

And another newly-discovered favorite blogger is a gal who first caught my eye when I came across her name on another blog. I mean who could resist someone clever enough to call her blog

Tater Tales ?

Of course I had to check her out because the name was so close to mine... and I'm sooo glad that I did ! She really makes me smile. :o)

(You know.. come to think of it, I think that any woman blessed with at least one "Tater" in her life is truly blessed !)

So now you know what some of my "favorite things" are.

C'mon, share... what are some of yours?