It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us...
(Charles Dickens, A Tale Of Two Cities)
Ahhh... the summer of 1969.
Was there ever any summer sweeter than that one?
His name was Jack... and he was my first love.
Not that I ever told him that... but to tell you the truth, I've spent the last 40 years regretting that I never said those words out loud.
Oh, I think he knew it, just like I knew how he felt.
But back in those days, it was all emotion between us... and maybe the actual words weren't even necessary, after all.
It was a summer love, and I guess in some ways, it was the truest, most innocent and the most touchingly beautiful relationship of my life.
Jack was the standard by which all future boys and men were judged... and to tell you the truth, most of them were found wanting.
I spent years looking for the same honesty, integrity and decency - not to mention heart-stopping good looks - in other boys, and later on in my life, men.
But I never found it again.
Oh, eventually, I found a couple of 'good guys' and my life moved on, and it was good...
But as the years went by, I still checked phonebooks, or when I heard anyone who claimed to be from his town, I just had to ask, "Do you know Jack?"
I was never able to join any computer site like classmates.com or Reunion or even face book, without typing in his name.
And I always came up empty handed.
And empty hearted.
But then on Monday night, I received a message through one of those school sites, from a guy who claimed to be from my graduating class.
Only he wasn't.
It was him.
It was the him that I've been looking for and thinking of for these last 40 years.
And I discovered that he had been searching for me as well.
Wow... the memories have always been there, ya know?
But they came flooding back with an intensity that was almost painful.
Love found.
Love lost...
Dreams and hopes, and nights where we would sit and watch the lake and talk until the sun came up.
Days upon days spent together, holding hands everywhere we went... and just 'being' together.
Oh, nothings changed or is going to change...
The past is the past.
He's happily married now, I'm in a permanent relationship with the Old Guy... and neither one of us have any desire for anything to rekindle or change.
But the memories... you know what I mean?
How sweet it was...
13 comments:
How exciting...I know exactly what you mean. It will be interesting I bet to see how his life has been.
Good luck to you.
Awwww that's lovely Taters. What a great find hey?
I've often wondered what happened to people from my past, facebook has been helpful in finding a few.
Have a great weekend,
Tania
Hey, I think it sounds fantastic that you had what you had when you had it! Ya know what I mean? ;-)
What great memories! It's so awesome you were finally able to find him!
A great story! I often think about someone like that around that same time. I still have the letters he wrote and read them from time to time. His brother passed away not too long ago and would have liked to have seen him but didn't.
It's like that old song, how sweet it is to be loved by you!
Ah, to hearken back to when we were young. Simple things made life so wonderful. Then we grew up and had to pay the mortgage. It's nice that you found his "end", and nice that he had been interested to find you, as well.
Love that story. I think it would be fun to meet again. With spouses present just to catch up.
Am not even sure what to say on this ...it's so .... ??? ... bittersweet. I hope he maintains his character. I always hear (don't know that it's true) that when someone is "searching" for another, that there is a reason for the searching... that something may be missing ...and since he was searching and he is married... I hope it was just that- nothing more..... well, like you said, the past is the past... but the memories... how bittersweet sounding.
*
On a lighter note... "Ahhh... the summer of 1969. Was there ever any summer sweeter than that one?"
Well, I was born the summer of '69... but sweet? ..ha! ..let's just say I don't melt in the rain.
I had one of those. The guys a cop and I hear a complete ass...hahaha
Oh yes. I remember one. His name was David. I was a senior and he was a freshman. (Oh the scandal.) You have brought back a time that I had long tucked back in my memory. Oh I was crazy about this young man. I caved to the pressure of others and went off to college without this sweet, handsome boy. I met my husband the following Winter and have not thought about David until reading this.
Your post brings back that long ago memory and the magic of a first love. Thanks.
Yeah know what you mean, girl! but as you say the past is the past but of the memories!I too have searched for someone from my past without success-I'd just like to know he's ok.
Beautiful post. I remember my first love too, but have never seen or heard from him again since he moved away. Great writing in this one, you made me feel "right there" with you.
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