Saturday, December 25, 2010

That's another one down...

I know that most of you are celebrating Christmas as I write this, but here in Oz, we're a day ahead of y'all and for us, Christmas is now a thing of the past.

I kind of have mixed feelings about it, because this was my last Christmas in Australia.... and although it was a good one in a lot of ways, in other ways, it was like I wasn't even fully present - if that makes any sense to you.

Probably not, since the workings of my heart and mind are an enigma to even myself at the best of times... and the things that I fully expected to dread seemed to go smoothly, and the things that are pretty much second-nature to me now, seemed to be odd and off-kilter to me.

Oh, don't get me wrong... it was a good Christmas.

I was blessed to be able to spend my grandsons "early Christmas" watching them open their gifts on web-cam, and I felt so blessed to be "there" with them - if only in a small way.
(they alternate between their parents houses, and this is Josh and Becs' way of ensuring a complete Christmas morning and a full day with their presents, before them going to their fathers' and the evil step-mothers house.)
So, I got to spend over 91 minutes watching the boys tear into their gifts, and listening to their squeals of delight... and their sharing their joy and excitement with their gifts with their Grummie and Grumpy ...
And it done this ol' heart good ... let me tell you!

Then later that day, (the day before Christmas Eve to you all in the N. hemisphere, but Christmas Eve itself, here in the S hemisphere...) the Old Guys daughter and her boyfriend showed up - thoroughly and completely making the Old Guys day! It was the first year since Skye was about 2 years old, that he's managed to spend any actual "Christmas" time with her - and he was simply walking on air!
After years of "not nice stuff" that we've all been through with her mother, it was truly a wonderful and blessed time for the Old Guy and Skye - and for all of us.

Then yesterday ( remember...Christmas Eve to y'all - but Christmas day for us here in Oz) was a joy as well, with the Boy opening his presents early, before heading over to spend the day with his mum, and then the Old Guy and I just sort of lazing around watching a video, (okay, snoring, if you really need to know) while waiting for the Boy to return - and for guests to arrive for a late-ish "Christmas dinner".

That went well too, and I thoroughly enjoyed it - although there was a bittersweet aspect to it as well, since it was my last Christmas - probably ever - with Jenn and her family.
We ate and talked... and then we nibbled and ate and talked some more... and after they left, I ended up going to bed sometime well after midnight - feeling full of joy and contentment.
And Christmas cake.

It was good.
I keep telling myself that anyway.
But mostly, I was left with the feeling that it somehow wasn't real - or complete.
It was kind of like having an intense craving for prime rib and all the fixin's... but ending up with a McDonald's' Happy Meal instead.
Yeah, your belly's full and you've had enough to eat, but it's only make-do and a stop-gap measure while waiting for the real thing.

Maybe that's just me....or maybe it's how we all feel after all the wind-up leading to the holidays... and the inevitable let-down of emotions afterwards.
I don't know.
All I know is that once The Boy heads off with his mum this morning, to spend some time with his grandma in Melbourne, I just want to cherish the quiet time - and catch up on reading blogs.

Oh... and maybe I'll eat some of this leftover Christmas cake too...
With a giant dollop of Brandy custard. ;)

6 comments:

joolzmac said...

Plenty of leftovers here too, Kate! We didn't get to eat the glazed ham, only half of the pavlova and my pudding hasn't been touched (I'll eat that over the coming month with custart - yum!).
Eggs and bacon for breakfast and now the menfolk are watching the Boxing Day Test - boring! I'd rather do my laundry!
Have a good rest and relax before the year gears up again. When do you expect to leave Aus?

Cheers - Joolz

Roslyn said...

I too have left-over, roast lamb & some baked vegies! Guess it will be my dinner tomorrow, DH is off to the CO.house with the older GS's so I have an entire week of peace & quiet, just Button dog & me!
Happy Christmas, Katie, it goes for twelve days you know! Gotta go phone my brother in NSW now, even though it's already Boxing Day there!

Marjie said...

Left overs? What are those? I have about 3"x3" of prime rib left, from my plate, tucked into a back corner of the fridge, with Jeffrey's promise to wallop anyone who goes near it. And at 6'5", that boy packs a mean wallop. I surely do understand how bitter-sweet your last Christmas in Australia is, and the missing of your family in Calif. But I think we all feel some let-down at the end of the day, because there is so much to do and building up before the holidays. It's the old saying, "Now that I've head realization, give me back anticipation." So, sweetie, you are not alone. It's now 11:44PM Christmas here, so I'm still on time to send you Christmas hugs from Pennsylvania!

Pam said...

I understand completely your bittersweet feelings. I am always thinking too much about what is happening and when and how it will happen again, right in the midst of everything.

Terry said...

Howdy Sweetie
Ah life is full of bittersweet moments and being a female that goes double :)
I am still waiting to see if we will have any kind of Christmas hubby works all holidays ,grown son is also working .Me sitting home alone when not at work or takeing care of parents.
Thank God for blog friends who keep me going .
I will keep you lifted up in prayer change is always difficult even when it is what we want .
When it is not exactly what we have planned it gets us all mixed up inside .
Please keep us posted about your schedule and all the rest that goes on day to day .
I do love reading your blog you make me happy when I am blue .
You know how to turn a phrase better than anyone .
take care now
Until next time
Happy Trails

Nancy M. said...

I'm glad you were able to sort of be with your family for Christmas! I think I understand what you're talking about, being kind of let down, I kind of felt that way too this year.


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