Saturday, March 26, 2011

I live with mere mediocrity

Martin Luther King had a "Dream" and he got out there and told the world... And it changed not only how people around the country thought and acted, but it also changed history.

Last night, I had a dream... and in that dream both my eyebrows fell off, and I ended up gluing false moustaches in their place.
Which leads me to believe that I'm not really destined for greatness.
No, really... I'm not.

I'm just mediocre.
Now, I'm not saying that in any self-depreciating way. I'm just stating a fact.
Oh, when I was young - when I had my whole lifetime stretching out in front of me... I had dreams of being someone special.
I had dreams of making a difference... and dreams of someday standing on stage accepting a myriad of awards for a whole slew of wonderful accomplishments.

I wanted to be a writer, and move people through the power of my words.
I wanted to be a horticulturist and surround myself - and others - with the beauty of plants.
I wanted to be an archaeologist and understand and unearth ancient mysteries - and hopefully, find a few dead bodies in the process. (preferably old ones)

And I wanted to be a singer of ballads - like an early Joan Baez. (well, that one was mainly so that I could meet James Taylor... who would somehow be amazed at my soul-stirring ballad perfectness, and who would sing "Fire and Rain" to me... and then we would eventually launch into soul-stirring duets in front of a roaring fire.
(preferably a fire in a fireplace... and not a Smokey the Bear kind of fire.)

I didn't do any of those things.

I grew up, studied hard, and eventually found myself working in the field of medicine... in Oncology.
And I loved it. I really did.

But it all fell by the wayside when I had my children.
Suddenly, my dreams shifted... and it was all about them.
Encouraging and nurturing their own forms of greatness.
It was about giving them wings so that they could fly and find their own worlds... and by doing so, I was somehow leaving my small legacy to the future world.

Oh I don't know that I did a very good job of it, and I certainly wasn't the mother - or inspiration - to them that I wanted to be... but I think I did alright.
I raised 3 wonderful, caring, involved, and thoughtful children, but I honestly think it was more by the grace of God... than because of any overwhelming constant, prodding input from me.
And now I'm attempting to make a difference in the life of the Lad... and I think we're making wonderful progress

I guess that there's just something in me that needs to "give" to others.
And after years and years of soul-searching, I've finally realized that it's not because I want praise and adulation, (well, to tell you the truth, I knew that one already) or some fancy-schmancy headstone trumpeting to the world that I made a difference...
It's simply because I want to give children the key to their own futures.

I'm no saint.
I'm not special.
I'm just mediocre.
But I surround myself with potential greatness and I (hopefully) infuse small people with a hope for their eventual future.

And that's enough of a dream for me.
Funny eyebrows notwithstanding...

{Edit}
Some one just shared this with me and it really struck a chord...


"During your life, everything you do and everyone you meet rubs off
in some way.
Some bit of everything you experience stays with everyone
you've ever known, and nothing is lost.
That's what is eternal... these little specks of experience in a great, enormous river that has no end"
~ Harriet Doerr

14 comments:

Kathy said...

I think you underestimate yourself. I don't know you personally but I've been reading your blog long enough to know that you are one special lady. You have a heart for children and spend most of your life nurturing and caring for young kids. Not everyone can do that.

Kerry O'Gorman said...

Your gift of giving is anything BUT mediocre. You are helping screwed up kids to become a valuable part of society and if you accomplish this then you are Capital G great! Too many people just don't give a shite. The world could use a good dose of you ANYTIME!

Bz said...

"I didn't do any of those things."
Oh, Kate, but you did.

AS I read, that is AS I read each of the first 3 things you wanted to be, I thought well, she did.. and thought of an example (this was AFTER I LOL in my head about your dream).

You wanted to "writer, and move people through the power of my words".
YOU DO.

You wanted to "horticulturist and surround myself - and others - with the beauty of plants."
YOU ARE.

I hear your hay bale plants are great.

and

You wanted to "I wanted to be an archaeologist and understand and unearth ancient mysteries - and hopefully, find a few dead bodies in the process."

But, YOU HAVE...
... don't you see ?? .... that boy you have taken in... TEENage boys ARE an ancient mystery and it sounds like you have/are bringing LIFE to that boy.

So there you have it... you HAVE accomplished SO much.

You are NOT "mediocre".

And I can tell THIS all the way over HERE.
Listen, you may not know me much from Adam... but as humbly as I can say ... I'm usually right about people and I am about you.
:-)
Oh, and your eyebrow dream ... I just don't know WHAT to say about that.
p.s. Loved the quote.

gramma2many said...

My dream was to become a nun. So glad it did not come true:)
Had a great eyebrow visual and a good belly laugh.
Have to agree with others, I am thinking you top the chart high above mediocre.

Homestay Mama said...

Seems I remember getting a good scolding from you awhile back when I down rated my own lack of accomplishments. If I had more time, I'd search for your comment, because I need to say the same thing back to you! I love reading your blog--your special way with words that is both funny and inspiring! So there, Miss Katie! Don't ever call yourself mediocre again!

Kurichan said...

Ditto to what Bz said, my dear. You are so far from mediocre it isn't even funny. You have indeed done it all, and you continue to do it all every day. You are an inspiration. So there.

lou said...

Anyone that KNOWS that they have a need to give to others, is not mediocre. You see; people don't care how much you know, they just want to know how much you care.

Karen Deborah said...

Me too. I give speeches in my head to nobody. I think however in God's economy the choices to give to others IS exactly the kind of greatness that matters.
The only thing that goes with us into eternity is what we do for PEOPLE. Your a wonderful writer. Your dream with the eyebrows just cracked me up! I had visions of the Marx brothers....laughing!!!!

Dave and Tami said...

I am passing along the Styling Blogger Award to you because I enjoy reading your blog. Your straight-forward attitude and sharing of your life is entertaining and touching. If you choose to pass this award along, just tell your readers seven things about you that they may not know, and pass the award along to five more fun blogs. You can copy the button from my blog if you choose.

Thanks for writing.

Pam said...

I beg to differ. I think you are far from mediocre. Far, far, far. And thank you for your sweet comments about Scrappycat.

Marjie said...

I think we're all just mediocre. Problem is that everyone's being told they are special, and too many people believe it. If you're just average, and try hard, then you're doing well. I'm just average, but I try my hardest every day, and it works just fine.

Besides, isn't it better to know you're just a regular girl, and sometimes WOW yourself, than to think you're really something special, and spend your life wondering why no one else recognizes your specialness?

Roslyn said...

I think we all have those lovely dreams when we are young, but as we mature & the world knocks us around a few times[maybe MORE than a few] we begin to see that those who reach those lovely dream states for real are the fortunate few-the rest of the world just has to make do with being the wonderful, caring, hard working "normal,average" majority of the world. Without us they & the rest of the world would not survive.
Normal is a very good thing, Katie!

Fruitcake Sandy said...

Mediocrity ... I think NOT. I've visited several times, but couldn't write because of the wave of emotions about this posting. "THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD ... " I wish I could say we were separated at birth ... but that would diminish all that you truly are today. We have/had so many of the same thoughts, dreams, hopes ... loves! Both nurses ... oncology ... mothers ... caregivers ... I'll stop there, dear friend. You are so much more than Mediocre !! I'm not even going to address the eyebrow thing .. I have to draw my on every day (TMI!) Please reread Bz ... she's so wise.

Robynn's Ravings said...

You know I have only been able to stay in touch with a few - through Facebook - and you are in my top home girls. Would I hang out with you if you were less than amazing? What you do for kids and what you have SURVIVED qualifies you for the kind of greatness the "world" rarely recognizes but your friends and our dear Lord do.

Having said all that, I TRULY know what you mean. I am excellent at nothing - sorta the jane of all trades and forget master - I'll just be content to make it to apprentice level. I do play the guitar but can't flat pick (my dream), I sing but never made the big time - weekend bands for ten years was the beginning and end, I draw but there's nothing on my walls, I write but my name isn't on a book and I'm losing followers 'cause they don't stick with you when you don't keep it up....and I loved (do love) James Taylor, too, and he hasn't called me either.

So here we have it....two 50-somethin'used-to-wanna-bees but we are loved, have friends,and people come and visit us. And we found each other. And we raised great kids. So let's lift our glasses to each other tonight and blow each other a kiss. XO


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