Saturday, April 23, 2011

I'm shameless...

Yes, I'm shameless.

Not that I want to be... but I have to be, if I want anything to get done around this place.
I have to be ruthless and shameless and a whole lot of other "lesses" in order to get my house in order, I think. I have to beg. And I have to plead.

Partly because I'm a girl, and because a lot of the manly "men" type of things elude me. Not that I'm not willing to give 'em a try, but because I just don't have a clue about a lot of building/patching and maintenance thingies. I've tried... and messed things up time and time again. And I've even gone to the trouble of searching out professionals... who when they give me quotes, immediately send me into sticker-shock and have me reaching for the smelling salts, before I swoon.

Is it because I have tits breasts and they figure that they can take advantage of me?
Is it because like P.T.Barnum said "there's a sucker born every minute" and the so-called 'professionals' think I'm "it and a bit"? (well, to be honest, it wasn't actually P.T. Barnum who said "there's a sucker born every minute" - it was a banker named David Hannum who was too stupid to get out of his own way and who took Barnum to court, while trying to cover his own arse.)

Okay, so to get back to my tales of woe... and how I solved things once before...
A couple of months back, I had a " work-bee/garden party/sausage sizzle" thingie where I invited all my local friends around to help me out with the yard work, (it was a fantastic day, and we got heaps done!) and I'm seriously thinkin' of doin' it again...

Only more or a work-bee/garden party/house maintenance/"happy hauling days" kind of thing. I'll put all my worthless treasures out on tables, invite all and sundry to come along and slap some plaster and paint around, pull some weeds, pull some bales and hoe some corn... and hopefully help me knock together a kit kitchen from Bunnings... and in return, I'll fill their bellies, entertain them with witty conversation, and then let them start hauling away the crap treasures that I can't bother packing to send home.
As well as the half empty bottles of shampoo and potions and cleaning products and cutesy hand towels and oven mitts and knick-knacks that I once thought I couldn't live without.

And to add to the whole "I'm as poor as a church mouse" and I can't afford to pay market price for a bunch of shonky contractors thing, I also seriously hurt my back and knee in a fall a few weeks back, and in spite of chiropractors, physical therapy, potent pain meds and all that other hooey, I'm still getting around like a frog with one leg tied behind my back.
I lurch to the side and bump my arse a lot... and we won't even go into how moody and irritable I've been with it all.
(now's the time for you to say "thank goodness she hasn't been posting!!" - although I prefer that you wouldn't... and that you'll all reassure me that you've missed me - even if I've been so crabby that folks around here are wanting to break out the crab leg crackers, and serve lemons on the side of me.)

I want to get this work done... and I need to get it done asap, because I need to get this place whipped into 'sell able' shape so that I can sell up and go hooome....
So start gathering up your work gloves and tools and whatchamacallits and bring your appetite as well... and we'll get 'er done!

To be continued...

3 comments:

HermitJim said...

I'd sure hop over to help, but I think I'd be way too tired after the trip to be of any use!

I sure hope you leg gets better!

Pam said...

I've missed your postings, and I love a good cranky post, so post away. Hope you get all your work done, injuries heal, and you get HOME!

Momlady said...

I'd love to help but I'm a bit far away. I'll help with healing thoughts and good wishes....how 'bout that?


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