Friday, June 4, 2010

I'm one weird mother...

Okay... I need to know. It's important that I know.
Do any of y'all ever carry on entire conversations in your head?

Like, you say something... and then they say something back... and you say something back to them.. and then they question your statement, and you have to explain why you feel that way, or explain why you said it?

Or is it just me?

See... Sometimes, I come across something on the 'net, or in a book... and it immediately makes me think of someone in particular.
Like my hairdresser, or a friend or co-worker, or in this particular case... my son.
Well... it doesn't happen all the time... just sometimes.
I just want you to know that.
Because that would just be extremely strange and worrisome.... and someone might end up calling for the men from the funny farm to come take me away.

Now what started me questioning my sanity (well, to be honest this isn't the first time, but we won't go there right now, okay?) was a post of Hermit Jim's (from Coffee with the Hermit) that I read a little earlier this morning.
It was about water-wise tips and such, and at the end, he included a link to The Farmer's Almanac.

Now, me and The Farmer's Almanac go back a long way... and I always bought a copy every single year.
I would spend hours and weeks and months reading and using it, until that poor old almanac was dog-eared... until the pages were smooth as silk and it was worn out, but well loved... sort of like the Velveteen Rabbit.
And when the next years issue came around, the old one was always placed on the bookshelf, to refer back to.

So when Hermit Jim posted the link, I clicked on that link... faster than a duck jumpin' on a June Bug.

And there it was before me, in all it's yellow glory... Just chock-full of information and tips, and just good ol' old time knowledge. Although it's looking a little more 'fresh' than I remember, it kind of reminded me of a dearly beloved, softly wrinkled old friend... who's suddenly and unexpectedly had a face lift.
Cool, but odd.

So anyway... I had a bit of a browse around, and then checked out the weather in Murphys California.
Like you do.
When your feet are stuck in one country, but your heart is in another one.

And once I saw the extended weather forecast for Murphys, the "in my head conversation" started.

"Gee, Mom... how on earth did you know what our weather was going to be like today? And, you know what it's going to be like on Thursday too? Golly, Mom... you must be soooo smart! I want to be just like you when I grow up!"
(Okay, I have to admit it. My " in my head conversations" with my son often take on a real "Leave It To Beaver" quality, with him looking all rumpled and eager... and using words like "gee" and "golly"...
While I'm in a shirtwaist and an apron, with plastic pearls around my neck, waiting for Ward to come home.
Oh... You TOO?)

"Oh son... tsk tsk!! Honey, I'm your Mom, and Mom's just know stuff like this.
Mom's know everything!"

"Gee Mom, thanks! Now I know what to wear when I go out in the yard to work today... and I'll be sure to take my drink bottle with me, since it's going to be so hot!
And on Thursday, I'll be sure to take my corduroy - with the patches on the elbows - jacket with me, since there's a chance of clouds and cooler weather coming!
Golly GEE! You're such a super Mom!"

"That's okay, son. But that's just what Mom's do!
And speaking of Mom's knowing things... have you used the toilet today? You know what can happen if you don't do a BM everyday, son! You'll get sick, and feel really, really terrible!
Tell you what... next time you "go", don't flush, and come tell me, and I can come check it out... okay? Now... where did I put that Milk of Magnesia?
Josh? Josh, come back here this instant! Take your water bottle with you! Josh! Do you want me to have to tell your father that you left without your water bottle, and that you threw your baseball glove at me? Do you?"

And that's usually when I catch myself, and wonder why in the hell I do stuff like this ...
So I guess I gotta admit it.

I'm one weird Mother.

15 comments:

joolzmac said...

Agreed!

Joolz

Pam said...

I have the totally best conversations in my head. I always win, and I'm always incredibly witty.

farmlady said...

Having conversations in my head is the way I have lived to be an old woman. I have pre-conversation conversations in my head,all the time, so I have some idea what I'm going to say when I have the real conversation. It's gotten me every job I ever went for in an interview and it's the idea for every conversation with the goat boys on my blog.
I wanted to be an actress when I was a young thing. I did improvisation in acting class. That's all it is. Just guessing at what's going to happen. Being prepared.
....and the best part is you can say anything you want to.
Love your post today. Nothing weird about you at all.

Robynn's Ravings said...

You ARE weird and that's why we get along. And I have conversations, too. I think yours are way more interesting. Mine rarely revolve around anything happy unless it's some dorky fantasy in which I finally publish a book and it's received with fanfare and lots of money ala Ralphie handing in his Christmas essay and thinking the teacher will write A's all over it. (This was an example of a run-on sentence and successful authors don't use them. That's why I am only successful in fantasy land.)

I have conversations mostly about problems. Something someone said, or didn't say, or meant to say, etc. You have lovely VISITS. I LIKE your conversations and your plastic pearls. It's almost like gettin' to hang out with your son. Just like you will when you move home. Keep clickin' the heels of those Red Ruby slippers!

Fruitcake Sandy said...

Katie girl, Welcome to my World!!! (oh.. that rhymes, aren't I clever?) <--- only ONE of many conversations in my peanut right now. I love what 'farmlady' wrote ... I like the Boy Scout philosophy "Be Prepared!" I'm always writing my 'book' in my head .. one of these days I'll get it on paper.

My daddy used to tell me "It's perfectly alright to talk to yourself ... you can even argue with yourself ... but honey, if you ask "what did you say?" There's a problem!"

So if you are weird (which I doubt) then you are in fine company! Have missed chatting with you.

HermitJim said...

I thought that this was the way everyone got through the day!

I think sometimes, that I'm the only one that understands me...and even I have a hard time doing so as of late!

You'll be OK, my friend! At least you'll always be interesting!

Kerry O'Gorman said...

WHAT!? WEIRD? I thought that's what everyone did!! Thanks for bursting my bubble of thinking I was 'Mom The Normal'...

Bz said...

"I'm one weird mother...
Okay... I need to know. It's important that I know.
Do any of y'all ever carry on entire conversations in your head?"
*
(my answer)
No, you're not.
and
Yes, yes, I do.
I often "play things out" in my head... sometimes, the scenarios are a bit lengthy too.
:-?

Marjie said...

The only time I'm witty and humorous is in conversations in my head. My dearly beloved carries the conversation otherwise, he being the glib and charming one of us. See, I tell him I do all the work of being good looking, so he's got to be charming for both of us. Makes sense, right?

The W.O.W. factor! said...

Ok...Ok...so you ARE weird! We still love ya!
My "private" conversations are BORING! All I ever do is count! Count the steps I take, count the slices I make, count the brushes thru my hair....and on...and on...and I'm counting right now how many keys I'm actually hitting without error!
I'm hopelessly the "Countess"
...guess what my word verif is...however spelled wrong..looked like counted when I first saw it..
"coutned"

Sniffles and Smiles said...

If YOU are weird, then there's no hope for the rest of us...My mind NEVER stops...and there's ALWAYS a conversation going on in it with SOMEBODY!!!!! Perhaps, we should have a meeting of the minds...you and me...LOL...We'd probably have a heckuva good time... :-) You are a true kindred spirit!!! LOVE, love, love this!!!! No wonder you and Robynn get along so well!!! Love it! Love you, Janine XO

P.S. Just saw Robynn's comment after I wrote this...totally crackin' up...ROFL...I love you guys!!!! XO

Sherri said...

So next time somebody asks me if there is any history of mental illness in my family. I can say, Now there is! :D hahahaha

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Just hear to see what one of my most favorite expats is up to!! Sending you love, Janine XO

Karen Deborah said...

yep and sometimes I give speeches to admiring crowds.

哲維 said...

Learning makes life sweet.............................................................


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