Men

Are so stupid.

Well to be fair, not all of them, thank goodness... or the species would never survive,


I went out with the Old Guy after I got off work yesterday afternoon.
A lovely outing to our local Big W to buy stacks of books for me while I'm on holidays, and some hankies for the Old Guy... and then we went around to the park to feed the ducks and to count the baby geese.


But, while we were in Big W, I had noticed that the Old Guys barn door was open - as it were - and I tried tactfully and quietly, to inform him of this fact.


Ermmm... honey? Your barn door is open.


Huh?


Your barn door? It's open, and the cow will get out.


Huh? What on earth are you talking about?


You know... your barn door. Check your barn door. (doing the whole tilting my head at his pants and motioning with my eyes thing, looking straight at his crotch... while whispering so no one would hear)


All I get is a quizzical look.


I try again.
And I raise my voice just a titch.


Honey, *sigh* your zipper is down, and you have those damn green little bitty "they don't cover hide nor hair" undies on. Not a good look. Okay?


Oooh... well why didn't you just say so? Next time, just tell me that my zippers down, but Bloody hell, please just whisper it, instead of talking out loud like that, so I don't look like an idiot.
Have a little class, okay?

Okay honey.


So an hour later, after feeding the ducks, we ran into some old friends who were walking their dogs.
And because it was cold and rainy out and the wind was blowing a gale, my eyes had started watering and I had sneezed a few times.


So while standing there talking to these people, the Old Guy turns to me, and in his heartiest, loudest, "let's let the whole world in on this little tidbit" voice says,


"Babe? You have a big green booger hanging out of your nose.
Can't you wipe it on your sleeve or sumthin'?
I would loan you one of the hankies I just bought, but they're new.


He's free to a good home.
I swear he is.