Thursday, October 29, 2009

Pi** on it !!!

And I mean that literally.

Pi** on the door, pi** on the mat, pi** on the walls and bench and flower pots, and even pi** on the wooden bench on the front porch.

Because a male cat lives next door.
A cat with seemly endless reserves of cat pi**.

See, yesterday was a lovely day... warm, with just the right amount of breeze... and fragrant, from my beautiful Abraham Lincoln roses suddenly bursting into bloom.
So when I got up this morning, the first thing I did was open up the front door, to let the lovely, cool, sweet smelling morning breeze waft through the house.

And I almost gagged.

Bruce. Has. Been. Here.

Bruce. Who cost the neighbor a cool $800, because she wanted a Burmese male cat for breeding purposes.
Bruce. Who has the personality of a junk yard dog, and who has been known to have a go at me, even when I turn the water hose on him to chase him out of my yard because he's pi**ing on my front door or car tyres, right in front of my eyes.
Bruce. Who, when my cat got pregnant last year, seemly had had "the snip" and "oh my goodness, Brucey couldn't have been responsible, because he never goes outside."

Yet I had 2 half-Burmese kittens... and funnily enough, Bear has his daddy's build, his looks, his coloring... and his *yowl*

Now, I have nothing against cats at all.
I've got 5 of my own, plus a boarder... so who am I to talk?

But my cats are clean.
Mine are fixed, and have the ear tatts to prove it.
Well, except for the boarder cat - Spider -, who ended up going on a date when I wasn't looking... even though she was specifically forbidden to do so.

So, we're expecting babies any day now.
And Bruce thinks he's the daddy.

And Bruce wants all the other neighborhood males, as well as his "probable children" to know who's the boss around here...

I'm just so sick of it.

I spent hours out on the porch just 2 days ago... washing the walls, the screen door and front door, flower pots, shoe racks and the door mats with hot soapy water and then vinegar... finishing off with hydrogen peroxide to kill any residual bacteria that the other methods hadn't erased.
And then topped it all off with "Scat Away" which smells bad enough to make your nose hairs want to curl up and die.
But it's better than cat pi**
Way better than cat pi**.

But Bruce was back again last night...
And all I get from the neighbor is lies and denial.

Oh, Bruce is fixed.
Oh, Bruce stays indoors all night - or he's locked in his $2,000 cat run.
Oh, Bruce is just the sweetest little thing, and you must be making him angry if he runs at you, yowling and hissing his fool little head off.

Yeah right.

Pi** on it.

I'm hiring a cat trap.


Michaela Dunn Leeper said...

3 words:

b b gun.....

OK, so if you don't want to do that, fill a spray bottle with pure vinegar & get him. No seriously, I had animal control tell me that years ago when we had a dog that thought he was the boss of our yard. While you're at it spray YOUR things with vinegar or AMMONIA!!!

Katidids said...

I second the vinegar suggestion. Works for us and it will make you feel better to send him home smelling on the stuff! Then of course the neighbor will come over and demand to know what you've done..words will be exchanged, you will OF COURSE endup spraying the neighbor with the stuff, only to show its harmless I'm sure....when they take a swing at you you will OF COURSE protect yourself...after the police haul you both away, The old guy will post on here that you've been busted for fistacuffing, and request a few dollars from us all to bail you out. By then animal control would have been called as the police were attacked by the cat, haul it away deemed a vicious animal.
I'd say buy a gallon of the stuff,. It will be worth it! But, don't worry we all love you and will send the funds Bwahahahhahahahahahhaha
Sorry, there are times my mind goes on vacation with out me 8D

Sooziebelle said...

I have to say, I agree with what Michaela and Katidids both said! And Vinegar works pretty well at preventing cats from urinating as well.

As for Bruce's visits to your backyard, it is probably not even your female cats that is drawing him there. We have had cat spray on our back screen and caterwauling at night and there are probably a half-dozen cats that cruise around our front and back yard all the time. I personally do not think that cats should be let out of doors unless the area is enclosed in a way that guarantees them not to roam. We've had neighbours who have said, "Oh our cats never bother the birds" and then we've seen them catch birds! Neil actually pings small rocks at the cats, which used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore, as we have families of blue wrens and parrots that we are very fond of.

I think maybe you should talk to your neighbour about this Bruce. If he is not de-sexed yet is being allowed to roam enough so that he can get into your yard, it really is highly irresponsible of your neighbour and an animal control issue. I only WISH I knew the owners of some of the cats we have around here! THEY'RE the ones who need the BB gun!!

Sherri said...

Get a cat trap. My neighbor has a cat trap and it works really good, cause he's always catching my cat...lmaooo About once a week he lets me know, that he's caught him again. I don't think Smokey has it all together upstairs. I think he was poisoned a couple years ago. He had really bad seizures, and I thought I was going to wake up to a dead kitty. He pulled through, but he really hasn't been the same since. Anyway, lets just say that Smokey is a french fry short of a Happy Meal. That's why the neighbor keeps catching him :)

Kurichan said... pi**...I can't think of a worse smell! Good luck with it all! :-)

Michaela Dunn Leeper said...

Katidids, thank you for the early morning laugh!!

Robynn's Ravings said...

I'm a cat lover, too, but enough is enough and I HATE THAT SMELL!!!! I second all the emotions here. Better than what my neighbor did when our cat got in his pet door and bugged his dog. He hauled her off and dumped her in the country never to be heard from again. Sure woulda been nice if he would have given ME a chance like you've given her over and over! I WISH he would have trapped her.

Diannia said...

I've heard if you put orange peelings where the cat is peeing he won't go there. Seems cats don't like oranges. Of course who really wants to look at orange peels but it's better than smelling pee!


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