Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Catching up...

Well, I managed to get one thing on my never-ending list out of the way last night.

I did the first half of a 2-night first aid course last night, and it was better than I expected.
Way better.
I was really dreading it, with the migraine and all, but I was lucky enough that the headache had eased off somewhat, so it wasn't bad at all. It was still bad enough that I had to wear my sunnies indoors because of the florescent lighting, but I figured that it just made me look cool and mysterious to a bunch of total strangers.
Which is my aim in life...
Which also says a lot about my lack of goals, doesn't it?

And having a good teacher and a bunch of normal people for classmates, helped immensely. Not that the other day carers that I usually take the classes with aren't "normal", but this just seemed to be more focused, and there was less chit-chat and visiting going on, you know what I mean?
It was focused enough, that the class that was scheduled for 4+ hours, was over and done with in a little over 3 hours, and I was tucked up in bed before the class was even due to be finished.
How good is that?

The only problem was, I drank a huge bottle of Coke last night before leaving home, to help with the headache and to help with concentration, (and it helps. It really does.) but the side effect of all that late evening Coke, was a bathroom marathon going on, once I got to bed last night.
I swear, I did miles of back and forth and back and forth all night long, and I spent more time running to the tootie, than I did actually sleeping.
Which in my humble opinion, is the main reason for going to bed in the first place.

Damn this menopause crap...
Once you get past the years of babies and the kids keeping you up and running at night, the girlie works shut down and the bladder stuff starts happening. It's not fair, and it's not right...

Most women, once the kids grow up and move away from home, take up collecting stuff like fancy gee-gaws or salt and pepper shakers and the like.
Me?
I collect directions to public restrooms between here and the border.
Honestly.
I have a notebook filled with directions to each and every toilet between here and wherever we're going.
With ratings.

Because there's nothing worse than hanging on for the last 6 miles to the nearest toilet, and then finding out the hard way, that they don't have toilet paper... or finding that the sink has been used as a barbecue pit for a bunch of young hooligans.
So, with my handy-dandy little guide and ratings system, I know that if we're going from here to... oh, let's say Bendigo, I need to double check that we have a spare roll of dunny paper in the car, and I need to pack an extra bottle of hand sanitizer, because there's no public sink for the next 40 miles or so.

How pathetic is my life?
Why did no one, in all those years of hearing talk about the freedom to do whatever you want once you got older, ever mention that your life would now be ruled by your bladder?

(Oh shit poop... did I actually say "young hooligans"?
I am getting old, aren't I? And here I thought it was just my bladder that was gettin' old....)

16 comments:

Fruitcake Sandy said...

LOL ... not funny really, but 'misery' does love company! Did you see my blog on Tuesday, it was on menopause. Did you ever notice how many words start with the word 'men' ... menopause, menstruation, MENTAL, meningitis, menace, menagerie ... to name a few?!?

The Duck used to have a 'lead foot'.. would not stop for potty breaks as often as I needed, I even threatened to cath myself and hang the bag out the window. But God has a sense of humor ... and it's name is PROSTATE, have to wait on him at the rest stops now ... and bless his heart, several trip during the night.

Fruitcake Sandy said...

oh my... when I posted my comment, the next word veri was coloni ... let's not even get THAT one going on, okay???

Marjie said...

Yep, well, men get the need to race to the potty too. I figure it makes my dearly beloved appreciate any problems I might have or develop.

My daughter had to take as CPR course for nursing school, and it was over quickly, too. She said there were some normal people there, but also some odd ducks. They're everywhere.

And young hooligans these days! Sometimes I want to prove to them that they have size 7 butts - since my foot would comfortably fit their butts as I kick them for being hooligans! (This is a line I perfected with my own sons, BTW!)

It's still Wednesday here. I hope your Thursday is turning out nice, so I can look forward to a good Thursday, too!

Roslyn said...

A hysterectomy fixed my bladder problems! Like Magic.
Young hooligans- yeah, sounds like I hear my Mum's words coming out of my own mouth waaaaaay too often these days!

Paula said...

You are getting old...lol. Although you may just have an overactive bladder. They have medication for that now. I mean I definitely go pee way more then I used to but having said that you shouldn't have to have a map of all public bathrooms. :)

Faithful said...

I had my bladder tied up after my ole worn out uterus tried taking it south and I guess it never forgave me cuz it never let me know when it needed to go to the TOOTIE! Doc gave me meds that really do work wonders. Now I'm just gonna hafta try gulping down a gallon of coke to help with my killer migraines! It's not easy being such a delicate breed ..we wimmens!

Neas Nuttiness said...

Ain't life funny?
Crisco at sex shops, hooligans in your backyard, Farm Town as your main source of entertainment!

Can't get much crazier that this!

Reddirt Woman said...

I'm so with you on the peanut bladder syndrome. I know all the rest stops between here and most anywhere I'm heading to if I've been there more than just once.

At least I know if I win the lottery and come for a visit, if we drive anywhere you'll know the 'rated' rest stops are...

Helen

Katidids said...

I blame the kids! Well, they sat on it for 9 months right? they can sit in the car an wait for me! My youngest...after shes had 2 children is starting to understand

Bz said...

Well, dad-gummit... while reading this, I laughed a little through my nose... made my nose itch... made me sneeze.... I'm FORTY and PREGNANT.. and NOW I have to go change me undies.
Your fault, I say... it's all your fault. And I'm not even AT menopause.
:-)!

Nancy M. said...

You are so funny! I already go to the potty all the time!

Glad your class was good!

Tatersmama said...

Fruitcake Sandy, I never thought of the old cath out the window trick. I just threatened to let loose on his expensive seat covers and that did the trick!
And coloni? Nah... let's leave that subject for next time! ;-)
~~~~
Marjie, My Old Guy does the dash too, but he never seems to need the tootie breaks that I do, but then again, he's never given birth, so he can't blame it on the kids... ;-)
~~~~
Roslyn, My hysterectomy due to endometriosis "caused" mine, or rather the bladder resection they had to do.
It's kind of scary to hear our mothers words coming out of our mouths, isn't it?
Does this make us old ladies???
*snort*
~~~~
Paula, speak for yourself, you young whippersnapper! Old? It's just a state of mind, isn't it? Never mind... I can't remember where I was going with this, and besides, I hafta go pee!
;-)
~~~~
Faithful, I KNOW!! Mine threw tantrums for almost a year after the uterus left town!
~~~~~
Libby, I guess it just goes to show that I'm easily entertained! The only time I go out anymore, is when I visit someone's farm!
~~~~
Helen, I just KNEW we were sisters! I can show you all the sites... ermm, I mean toilets, when you come over! We'll have a great time! ;-)
~~~~
Katie, Multiply that by the amount of kids, and that's 1 year and 3 months of them using the ol' bladder as a trampoline, so it's no wonder it's give out...LOL!
~~~~
Bz, I have just one word for you. Depends.
;-)
Oh, and don't laugh!
~~~~
Nancy, You just wait. It gets even better. If peeing yourself when you blink your eyes can be counted as being better!

Robynn's Ravings said...

Ah, it's so good to have you back and talking about bodily functions! Life just ain't the same without ya, girl!!!!

Caroline said...

Good to have ya back Katie! I missed being able to wake up to a godd giggle. :) Now with any luck I'll be back into the swing tonight as well. I have heaps I've written, but no way to get it up without getting my puter back online. arghhh..

Still waiting on your addy also for a postcard. I can send you one from Poland, Prague, or Germany if you get it to me in the next week or so. :)

Huggles!

Andrea said...

I SO love your wit!!! Every story you tell has such great humor in....always a pleasure visiting here and getting caught up on your news. :)

Becky said...

I inherited migraines from my mother and my daughter inherited them from me. Mine stopped when I went thru the change! It might help to stop all liquids at 6pm everynight! Good Luck!


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