Saturday, July 4, 2009

Smiles and laughter, through the tears...

Thank you everyone !!

I mean that.
From the bottom of my heart!

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me, with it being Jake's birthday and all....
But you know, I also did a lot of smiling and I laughed out loud several times, just thinking about all the good memories - and it did my heart good to share them with you all. Your comments yesterday, touched my heart and made me smile ( and yes, I even snorted coffee through my nose a time or two!)

I guess it's true what they say.
"A burden shared, is a burden halved"...
and I honestly felt like you helped to lighten my load yesterday - so thank you again!

See, when I really, really thought about it, I realized that I had been blessed with 18 years of good memories and only the one heartbreaking one.
And by focusing on the good, by remembering and sharing the joys and the laughter, the funny little stories and just the ordinary wonderful days and years we had together... well, I just realized that I have a lot to be thankful for.

Jake left me a precious gift. The gift of his memory...
And to do anything but honor that gift and to look at it with thankfulness for what I've had, rather than with sadness for what I've lost, well, I'm doing Jake a disservice, and I'm letting him, and his memory down.

When my children were born, God gave me the greatest gift I've ever known...
The gift of joy.
But he never promised me that they - or that joy - would be mine forever.

But he did promise to be by my side through whatever this life threw my way... and he promised to be my rock and my comfort.
And he's never let me down yet!

So while I was just sitting and thinking of Jake yesterday afternoon, I asked God to give me a sign from above, to let me know that he heard my crying heart and to let me know that my son was safe in his hands.
And suddenly, the room lightened somewhat (it's been pretty dark and dreary here all week, with heaps of rain) and a beam of light came through the window, so I went outside.

Suddenly, two parrots swooped right down at me... coming within inches of my head before they turned, and as I followed their flight, I saw the rainbow!

Now, if those aren't all signs from above, I'll eat my hat!

The Rainbow

Mama Crimson Rosella and her teenager

It's pretty unusual for them to be around here at this time of year, so I really feel blessed.


I didn't realize that I still had pictures on my card, so when I did the rainbow and bird pics, I found another 30 or so photos that I hadn't even gotten around to downloading yet.

And wow... I simply love the ones of the Big Tree over in Guildford!!
That tree is just massive and breathtaking but there's no way that a mere photo can do it justice!!!

I mean... just look at this baby!

It may not look like it, but that burl is absolutely HUGE!
It's actually bigger than the bed of the Ford truck we were driving, but I stupidly forgot to take a photo with the truck in it!

And to finish... Just some stuff from around my house...

Happy Fourth of July, everyone!


Neas Nuttiness said...

Sending you my love...
Oh, and some Crisco!

Becky said...

Sending you some more love but no Crisco! What kind of tree is that? I have an emormous oak in my yard that looks kinda similar.

Anonymous said...

Oh Katey, Katey, I am behind on my blog visiting, sending you all of my thoughts, prayers and good wishes. Just read yesterday's post, you described your son with honor and great memories, cherise them and love them. As you have told me the pain lessens but is always there. On the light side even my DH liked the tree and the pictures of the birds,

rubiesrnotpurple said...

I lurve big trees. This one is gorgeous. I hugged it last time I was in Guildford.

We never have to look far to see God. Just sometimes we forget to look ... or our eyes are closed by our inner turmoils. (I can't quite find the right words there but I know you know what I mean.)

Thank you for trusting enough to open your heart to all of us.

Homestay Mama said...

Tears streaming down my face, because this post was so touching and uplifting. (I cry at weddings, too!)

A month ago God encouraged me to ask for a sign about my own son, so I did. And he gave me two signs. What a thrill to know that God is listening when we present our petitions to Him. What joy knowing He tenderly loves us.

Love the rainbow, the parrots and the eucalyptus tree. Very interesting reading about what they've done to preserve it.

Your flags on your walls reminded me of that saying, 'you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl.' But in your case I think it should be, 'you can take the girl out of America, but you can't take America out of the girl!' LOL

Blessings, dear Katie. And hugs, too!

Paula said...

Wow. I read about your son and I am speechless. All I can hope to say is that your strength is a god send for others to see. I can see you pain in your words but I also see the warm thoughts and love with those stories as well and I am so glad for you that you have that to keep him living in your heart.

Is being away from america harder or better during the fourth? I like that you have such fun american art around the house, gotta let them know where your heart

Best wishes are sent you way. Sorry I have been MIA but if you have been reading my blog you know I have had my head in lots of books for weeks.

Caroline said...

Katielou, I've just read alllll your posts the past 2 days. You've made me laugh, cry and think. :) Love ya! I'll be back. :) Did I give you the link to my blog btw? I think I did, but I can't remember now.

Oh, can you flick me an email with your address to send you a postcard? I think I have it, but I'm not sure.

Out Back said...

Sorry it's been a while since I visited with you.

Birthdays are extremely hard when the person is no longer with us, especially for you when they taken so young and tragically. My thoughts and prayers are with you Kate as you remember the special times with your precious Jake.

This post is beautiful especially the rainbow as a sign of God's love for you.

I have an award if you would like to collect from my blog.


Robynn's Ravings said...

So glad you are feeling encouraged and loved your signs. :) I canNOT imagine having such beautiful birds simply flying around my yard!

Andrea said...

Sending you love and you are in my thoughts. I loved reading some of the stories about your son....they were written with warmth and grace and love. I totally believe in signs and definitely think you got yours. Love the photos!

Faithful said...

I too am often comforted by signs from heaven (ie: Pennies from Heaven)..sometimes these signs have been butterflies, rainbows and sometimes they have been a lightening up of the dark skies at a moment when my family and I have been in despair. God never forgets us. I shared Jake's story with my family yesterday as we celebrated the 4th of July..we send you our blessings. ~I love the picture of the eucalyptus's logevity and endurance..what a kindred spirit~

Marjie said...

I just got caught up with your last few entries. I cried for your loss of Jacob, and gasped with wonder at your tree. But what got me was your burglar story.

See, we have a different breed of criminal here. We're just not that sophisticated. On the local FBI 5 most wanted list, #4 jumped bail of $500, and #5 is wanted for unpaid child support. yeah, give those agents a raise. Or maybe a nap.

And I about fell off my chair laughing, reading the paper on the way to that wedding. The top story was about 2 guys from this area who drove the 50 miles to cross the NY state line and rob a gas station. They thought it out, cut the phone lines, got the money, got away. Then they RAN OUT OF GAS ONE MILE LATER. Yeah, Baby, we have some real criminal masterminds here!

So you go sock that punk-ass jerk with your swiffer, and I'll be cheering. Just as long as your criminals don't start training mine.

The Blonde Duck said...

What a heartbreaking story. I'm glad you had a good day!

Nancy M. said...

That is the best way to think of it as being blessed to have the time you did! I love the sign from above! Beautiful rainbow!

The Wife said...

I didn't take the time a few days back to comment. Shame on me.

I just wanted to say "I luv ya" and I am a firm believer in signs from above. I know He listens and gives us answers and hope. (Hugs)

Reddirt Woman said...

Kate, you are, very simply to me, awesome. My mom and dad always loved the stories about my sister. One of the ones that would used make both of my folks laugh...

My big sis was chatty and somewhat ditzy. She always sat at table by my mom, close to the kitchen so she could wait on the table. My dad had run out of tea and Lou Ann went to the kitchen to fill daddy's glass, talking all the time. My big brother, who was three years older, reached over to her glass of tea, and put a couple of drops of Tabasco in her tea. After she had sat back down, she paused in the story she was telling, took a drink of her tea, started to talk again... then grabbed her tea to gulp some down to quench the heat... She could have knocked the fool out of our big brother when it finally dawned on her what he had done.

The memories are wonderful...They comforted my parents and they will carry you through.

Hugs to you.



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