Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I have ears! Isn't that wonderful??

Or is it? I don't know anymore.
Nowadays, I don't know if I'm coming or going.
I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha...
If I'm Tom or Jerry...
Frick or Frack...
Laurel or Hardy
I honestly don't.

I've been snowed under with one thing or another and it seems like the faster I go, the behinder I get.
I take 3 steps forward, and two steps back.... and nothing, but nothing, is getting accomplished around here.

I thought it was just me.
You know... just terminal laziness or lack of concentration on my part.
Overwork, or maybe even a brain tumor.
You know the kind of stuff.
(well maybe, I'm the only here with those silly hypochondriacal thoughts running through my head.)

The stuff that has you folding a heap of towels and then leaving them to just sit on the kitchen table for days on end, because putting them away seems like so much effort.
It just all seems so overwhelming and you almost want to cry because nothing is getting done.

Doing stupid stuff... like getting out of the shower only to realize that all the towels are still in the kitchen and you left the blinds open and you have no chance in hell of dashing across the living room in your birthday suit, without someone seeing you through the windows (which would cut down on peeping toms, I'm telling ya, if there were any out there) and laughing their arses off... leading to feeling of worthlessness and shame on my part.

And then to top it off, I've been feeling just a titch under the weather.
Nothing serious, and certainly nothing that I could put my finger on, but just not feeling 100%, ya know?

Sticky oozy eyes in the morning... a sore nose like I had been punched in a cat-fight over Tom Selleck or something, and a head that just felt a little more than a little top-heavy.
Trouble reading... in bed or otherwise, which was making taking first aid and child protection tests and quizzes a real chore and a worry... and wondering if the entire class would get the chance to practice first aid on little ol' me.
Being put into the recovery position, if I fell outta my chair and hit the floor, had me worried, let me tell ya, and I was so busy worrying about it, that I got behind... and that isn't like me at all. I'm usually pretty much "on the ball" and focused when it comes to class work and studying.
The teacher even asked me last night, if I had a history of epilepsy... which scared the chit out of me!

And then this morning, it hit me.
I've been a bit dizzy and light-headed for days ( I said dizzy, not ditsy, so let's not be going there. We already know about the ditsy part.)
Anyhoo.... I got up this morning, made my usual mad dash to the tootie, and realized that the room was spinning a bit. Well, actually more than a little. I felt like I had had a night on the wine, without the tummy upset.
And instantly I said "AHA!

It's not me... it's my ears!
I've got that freakin' Labyrinthistis back again.

You know, the inner ear problem that throws your balance off and has you clutching madly at cute, spunky doctors and threatening to swoon in their strong manly arms.

The problem that has you feeling like you're on a roller coaster, tilt-a-whirl combination and you stagger around like you've been into the booze cupboard at 6am in the morning.
Throwing yourself into any available arms... manly or otherwise, just to keep from hitting the deck.
Not that it's that bad yet, but if it runs it's course like it has in the past, I'll be taking some time off work, rather than trip and fall on small smelly persons...
And of course cooking or housecleaning will be out of the question as well.
Good thing I have a helpful man around the house, eh?
(Oh Lord, just shoot me now...)

It's not a brain tumor, epilepsy, or early onset, senile dementia problem... or me losing my mind and going around the twist because of the hippy-dippy lifestyle I lived in 70's... like I thought it was... it's just too much juice in my head and ears.

I should have seen this coming, but with worrying about Jazzy and all... and running my arse off with stupid unnecessary night classes, and just the day-to-day drivel that goes on around here, it just never entered my pretty little head that it was anything actually physical.

So instead of working today, I think I'll take the day off and go see what cute manly doctors I can throw myself on.

I hope and pray that I get the cute spunky one and not the old guy with the bad comb-over and terminal dandruff. {{{shudders}}}
If I'm going to faint, I want someone cute and strong to be there for me...
I don't want to clutch at the old dandruffy doctor and end up with both of us on the floor.
It would ruin the day for both of us....

I didn't re-read this at all to check for making one tiny little iota of sense, or do any spell-checking, so if it's absolute rubbish and totally incomprehensible... tough titties.
I have a good excuse.)


Fruitcake Sandy said...

Oh my ... I am so sorry that you are not feeling well. I do know of what you spew ... uh, I mean .. write! Labyrinthistis ... it's the pits!! You need your 'crystals' aligned my friend ... or so I'm told. Dimenhydrinate (Dramine) is about the only thing that works ... that and a cool, dark, place to sleep for hours! Sending hugs ... I'm hoping that you are up and at 'em soon.

Reddirt Woman said...

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm on the floor laughing. I can so see you losing your balance into the younger, handsome doc... and like you don't let it be the old fart with the bad combover and dandruff. You know it's dandruff when their bushy old eyebrows had the same damn old flakes in them... I'd sooner hit the floor. Just let me crawl until I find the cute doc...

Hope you get the ears cleared up soon.

Helen said...

sounds frightful. You slow down and take care of yourself.
I hope you feel better soon.

Faithful said...

OMG..I'm thought maybe you were gonna say you were with child!!!! I too have that labtinthistis thing.. and I, too, throw myself at my doc.. "Dugey Howser!" I swear! He is so young, little and cute! but he keeps sending me home with prenisone and telling me it's affected by a flair of my Lupus! PS: Lupus flairs are brought on by stress..don't cha know! so you need to take care of yourself!)

Homestay Mama said...

I get those dizzy spells too. I wake up and even before I get out of bed I realize the room is spinning out of control. In my case it is pernicious anemia caused by not enough vitamin B-12 in my system. As long as I stick the little vitamin B-12 lozenge under my tongue every night, and as long as I eat a little beef every week, I'm fine.

Hope you get back on your feet soon. I love that your humor never goes away no matter what you're experiencing!


Nancy M. said...

Sorry you haven't been feeling great! I hope you'll be over this soon and I hope you got the cute doctor, lol! Usually when I start feeling that way my iron is low. So, I take iron pills for a few days, and I'm all better.

Sherri said...

Have you ever played a game where you take a baseball bat, stand it on one end then lean over and put your forhead on the other, and then spin around a few times? Do you get that ditsy, I mean dizzy? What your talking about is what happened to Adam one day, but he hit the door jam. I took him to the ER and we found out he was dehydrated, which made no sense, because the kid practically only drinks water.

Narelle Nettelbeck said...

You know it's really hard to be as sympathetic as I need to be for you when you're so darn funny about it! Seriously I do hope you feel better ASAP.


rubiesrnotpurple said...

Shhh don't tell Jazzy or she'll have you at the vets having YOUR ears cut off. Bahahaha.

Truly - I'm sad that you don't feel your normal ditzy self.

Kurichan said...

Do you usually see a GP, or have you seen an ENT?
Also finding it difficult to have sympathy as I am laughing, but I know how sucky labyrinthitis can be..hope you pick up soon! Hugs, K

Tatersmama said...

Sandy, I'll live, and I'm sure I'll be up and at 'em soon.
Pity the doctor is still flat out on the floor though...LOL!
Helen, so you KNOW the doc of which I speak eh? *snort* Thank goodness he wasn't in today, anyway!
JCWillow99, Thank you! It's no walk in the park... like I could even walk a straight line!
Faithful, With CHILD? roflmao!
I kind of suspect it's the Lupie, but all they want to do is give me more preds... and my face would end up as big as my arse if I took what they tell me to take!
Sue, I wish they would just get to the bottom of it instead of just shoving pills at me. I asked for a CBC, but the quack didn't seem to understand what I was asking for... God Bless foreign doctors and their "English as a second language"! ;-)
Nancy, I did...I did! lol! The best looking one of the bunch. Pity about his not understanding english tho... ;-)
Sherri, you've listened to me drone on and on about my water-works, so I doubt I'm dehydrated, but just in case, I drank 10 glasses of water today.
I'll be cursing you at 2am, I think! ;-)
Narelle, I'm going to ring you soon, I promise! I've missed hearing your voice and I want to hear the latest!!
Rubies, speak for yourself! It takes one to know one, ya know...;-)
Kurichan, It's usually one of the local GP's at the clinic, but I can't get anyone to give me a referral to a ENT! Grrr! They tell me to live with it, but NO tests have been done at all, other than watching me fall over!
Maybe me clutching their manly bodies, makes them want me to keep coming back, eh?
Yeah... right. ;-)

Becky said...

I am so sorry you are feeling bad and it's the weekend no doubt. Hope the cutie pie doc fixes you right up. I myself am waiting on a call from the doc to see what my ultrasound revealed. He thinks something is up with my gallbladder!

Robynn's Ravings said...

0_0 I'm sorry to be SOOO late in reading this! You sure paint a great picture for a dizzy woman. I'm so sorry all that's going on!! Miserable to feel that way and not know when it's going to stop. I hope they have meds to fix this. And I'm REALLY glad you have such "good" uh, help....wish I was there!!!!!!

Robynn's Ravings said...

0_0 I'm sorry to be SOOO late in reading this! You sure paint a great picture for a dizzy woman. I'm so sorry all that's going on!! Miserable to feel that way and not know when it's going to stop. I hope they have meds to fix this. And I'm REALLY glad you have such "good" uh, help....wish I was there!!!!!!

W.V. Decacti: Maybe you could encourage him to help more by poking him hard with decacti.


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