Sunday, August 30, 2009

17 years ago today...





17 years ago today, my sweet baby girl - my Jenny - went home to live with God... and it's killing me.

I had her in my life for only 17 short years, and today, she's been gone for 17 years... and it still just doesn't seem possible.


What would her life - my life - our lives - be like, if only she was still here with us?

Where would she be, what would she be doing, if only she were still here?

Would she be a wife and mother?

Would she be settled in a career?

Would she have the travel bug, or would she just be content to "be", in the same place that she grew up in?


In just a few weeks, on September 24th... she should have been turning 35 years old, just like back then, when she should have been turning 18... and I just can't comprehend how it's possible that she's not still here with me.


You know I love God.

I love him, I trust him and I have faith in his knowing better than I do.

But right now, I'm thinking "Indian giver."


Jenny, just know that you're loved and you're missed... more than anyone will ever know.

Jennifer Christine Davis
"Jenny"
September 24, 1974 - August 31, 1992



19 comments:

Neas Nuttiness said...

I love you Katie - and wish I could be there with you right now.

I'd hold you tight, and let you cry on my shoulder (and I wouldn't complain if you got snot on my shirt), and I'd cry with you, and tell you how sorry I was for your loss. And then you could tell me silly stories about Jenny and we could laugh, and eat chocolate, and then cry some more.

Marjie said...

I weep for you.

darsden said...

Oh my heart is heavy and aches right along the side with you. I could not imagine.I am so sorry for your loss. Time doesn't not make it better it's only longer with out them and a lot of unanswered questions. I am truly so sorry. BIG {HUGS}

Marilyn's Money said...

Katey, my heart goes out to you oh so much, you know how to get in touch with me. The tears are on my cheek for you.

jennypilgrim said...

You are in my prayers. I can only imagine how you must feel. HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....I sure hope you can feel that hug all the way from Alabama to TatersMama!

Jenny

Reddirt Woman said...

Katie, I can't tell you how many times I heard my momma and daddy tell friends that they weren't supposed to outlive all of their children after my oldest sister died. They, and my sibs and I, did have three babies to help raise even though she was only 23 when she died. I can only presume to imagine, after watching my parents, what you have gone through in the years that have passed. I am so sending out thoughts and prayers for comfort.

Helen

Roslyn said...

These anniversaries are so terrible, & they come every year throughout the year but this day, the day they left us, always brings so much more sorrow. We never get over missing our children, always wanting them back. Not sure on this one that I think God knows best.............the pain never goes away.
love & hugs & prayer going across the sea from another grieving Mum.

Fruitcake Sandy said...

I cannot begin to know your pain, Katie, although my heart aches for you. My years with Hospice nursing only give me glimpses of your loss. "Indian Giver" ... yes, I must agree. I saw a movie (again!) today and stopped it to write down part of the dialog because the words hit a nerve. They are from "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" While these words concern a wife and husband, the LOVE LOSS is for everyone. "Lost love is still love ... it just takes a different form. You can't hold their hand. You can't tussle their hair, but when those senses weaken ... another one comes t life --- MEMORY. Memory becomes your partner. You hold it, you dance with it. Life has to end ... love doesn't." You are in my prayers.

The Wife said...

If only I had your strength. Your in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))

Arlene said...

My heart goes out to you! Trauma like that is a horrible thing to go thru! So sorry!

Kurichan said...

Sending big hugs your way, Kate.

Jackie said...

Big Hugs Katie, your in my thoughtsI cannot begin to imagine your pain.. I wont forget your daughters birthday either as it's the same day as my mothers whose name is also Jenny.

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh Katie - I came here after reading your FB posts and I'm just sitting here stunned and hurting for you. I'm over there being a goofball and here you are walking through this. I didn't know.

I think that kind of pain is the worst there must be. Look what I've gone through over Bo just going to college and our time of being together 24/7 coming to an end. My mother's heart can only imagine and ache for you. I'm glad you know where she is and that you will be together again but we want them HERE, in the HERE and NOW.

I love you, Katie. I'm so sorry.

Narelle Nettelbeck said...

I could not have put it better than Neas - what's a bit of snot between friends?

We lost a cat over the weekend and the house seems a little empty, I can only imagine the emptyness that the death of your child leaves.

(((( Big Hugs to you ))))

joolzmac said...

Hi Tatersmama

So sorry for your loss all those years ago, although it probably feels like yesterday to you and yours. As Robynn said a mothers heart sorta knows what your feeling but unless we walk in your shoes, only you know this terrible pain. Thinking about ya,

Joolz

ga.farmwoman said...

I know you miss your Jenny and I am so sorry.

The pictures are beautiful just like I imagine Jenny was inside also.

Prayers and thoughts coming all the way from Georgia to you today.
pam

Andrea said...

You are in my thoughts, Katie. Big hugs from Sophie and I.

Nancy M. said...

I can't imagine what you must be feeling. She was a beautiful girl! You'll see her again someday! {{HUGS}}

Pam said...

Hugs, love, and prayers.


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