Sunday, February 21, 2010

Toilets - and a change of pace...

The sourdough starter is going good, but I decided to take a bit of a break from incessantly taking about organisms taking over my life... and take this opportunity to get you up and moving.

Or laughing your heads off at my miserable plight.
Only I won't be laughing with you.
Oh Lordy, I won't be laughing at all!

Now bear with me for a minute, and play along, okay?

What you need to do is stand up.
Put your hands on your hips, with your elbows sticking out.
Now pull those elbows forwards just a teensy bit.
Even more.
Point those elbows as far forward as they'll go...
See what it feels like?
Do you feel the burn?

Okay, now sit back down.

Sit upright, and stretch your legs out in front of you.
Lift them a titch more, and make sure that you're pointing your toes.
Straight ahead.
That's it.
Now put your hands back on your hips, making sure to pull those elbows forward until you feel the burn.

Now what is this all in aid of, you ask?

THAT my dear friends, is the size of my toilet.
Not my bathroom... the toilet room.
Elbow to elbow, and to the tip of my toes.

The room that is so damned small that there's barely enough room to store a small pack of toilet paper in, and when you do, it just has to sit there on the floor, taking up valuable foot space.
Or doubling as a foot rest.

What made me realize just how small the room is, is when I trusted a 2 and a half year old to "do it himself" when he had to go to the toilet and do a ermm. know.
I learned not to trust, okay?
I learned the hard way.
That's all I'm sayin'.

Now what gets me, is that when this house was built in the early 1960's, it was probably a modern, new fangled idea to put the outhouse actually in the house... so you wouldn't have to traipse all the way down the yard, braving spiders and snakes, just to do your "business" anymore.
Oh, and you might as well throw in one of those new-fangled terlets as well, to keep my Ethel happy.
And those little half-moon cut outs they used to have in the door?
Placed there for air circulation?
Nah... we don't need one of them.

Whoever had the bright idea to place the dunny actually in the house, has a lot to answer for.

Because damn... you try cleaning it, while standing in one spot!


Michaela Dunn Leeper said...

Which is why the loo at the last house rarely got cleaned well.....

Pam said...

I love a play-along with movement blog post!

farmlady said...

OK!.., I have a kink in my upper arms and I didn't even clean the @$&# toilet.
I had to laugh. An ad to the right of your post was for an INVIROLET, a compost toilet. I can't even imagine what the process is for that kind of toilet but it sounds to me like they reverted back to a "hole in the ground" technology.

You might want to remodel your bathroom, luv.

Marjie said...

I have a bathroom which is 30"x36". Really. Fat people need not enter. My 6'8" brother in law avoids it, due to lack of leg room.

Nancy M. said...

It does not sound like fun! I am not even sure I'd fit in your bathroom, lol! Makes me thankful my 2 and a half year old still doesn't use the potty. At least his is all still in the diaper!

HermitJim said...

You have to think of it as a challenge!

Does sound a little small, though!

Homestay Mama said...

Ahhhh, it felt so good to laugh like that--thanks to you and all your commenters! :-D

Roslyn said...

That's not atypical for an Aussie terlet, I have seen some mighty little ones! But at least they are separate from the rest of the bathroom-though they all make me claustrophobic!


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