Sunday, March 21, 2010

Houston, I have a problem...

And I know what it is. It just hit me square between the eyes.

I'm nice.
I'm too nice.
I just don't know how to say no... until later, that is.

Today's Monday, right? And Monday means that it's my day off.
I don't work on Mondays even though I actually need the money... because I figure that as hard as I work, I need at least one day a week that's completely and totally mine.
Me time... as it were.
Time to schedule appointments. Time to go grocery shopping without having to deal with the weekend crowds. Time to just sit and vegetate, to play on the computer, read books and even take Nana naps if I want to.

So... what led me to this eye opening epiphany, and my realizing that I'm just too bloody nice, is that a parent called me on Saturday (it was my working weekend) and asked me if I could have her little one on this coming Monday and Friday - starting at some ridiculous hour in the morning.
I told her Friday was fine, but I hemmed and hawed on working on Monday... and then I eventually capitulated and said 'yes'.
And then I rang her back 30 minutes later and said "no".

The problem is, is that I got her voice mail, and I left her a message saying "no".
And she never got back to me.

So here it is Monday morning... and here I sit, half nekkid and wondering what in the hell I was thinking.
Did she get the message?
Why did I say yes, in the first place?
Is she going to show up with the little one and ruin my plans for the day?
Do I finish getting dressed in my good pants, or do I get dressed in my kid pants?
(see? there's the explanation for the half nekkid-ness)
Why do I do stuff like this?
Am I seeking approval from virtual strangers, because I want people to like me... and because I'm such a spineless, weak-kneed loser, I don't know how to say no?

What's my problem? Did something happen in my childhood that ended up making me this way? Was I in some sort of competition with my not-so-nice little sister... and in order to stand out and one-up her, I opted to be the "nice" sister?
Is this why I allowed Valerie Firstenburger to spend years torturing me, by calling me back when I was halfway up the block, telling me she had something important to say... and then just yanking my ponytail?
And then me falling for it again the next day?
Is this why I kissed Steve Somebody-or-other when I was 17, even though he didn't have any front teeth and he had the personality of a dead rat... but he did have a really cool car?

Because I just don't know how to say N.O. .. no?

Ahhh... piss on it. fiddlesticks.
I'll just put on my kid pants, and change into my good pants if the mother doesn't show up.

And then I'll spend the day psychoanalyzing myself some more.

Update: The mum showed at 7am; I told her that I had left her two messages on Saturday, saying I was unable to care for the little guy on Monday... so now I get to put my good pants on !


Marjie said...

People who can't say no are always thought of as nice folks. Me, I'm the one known as a selfish, heartless bitch who always says no when it doesn't coincide with my needs. Course, I figure if I don't look out for me and my family, who will? So, remember, if it's Monday, follow Nancy Reagan's lead and JUST SAY NO! You need your down time, or you will not remain sane!

Tatersmama said...

Marjie, I want to be just like you when I grow up! LOL! You're so right - it actually felt wonderful to say "NO.. I'm sorry, but I left a message saying that today wasn't convenient for me."!

Nancy M. said...

I used to be that way a lot! I have learned, well mostly, how to say no a little better. Sometimes it's hard. But, we do need to stick up for ourselves! Who else will? You totally need some time to yourself to read and nap, and whatever else you want to do!

Kurichan said...

GOOD FOR YOU for saying no when she showed up. I am sure she was just counting on your niceness when she showed up KNOWING you had left her messages (and she chose to ignore them, I am sure...)
You are definitely too nice, but I don't see it as a fault, just another thing to love about you. ;-) So GOOD ON YA' for standing your ground and enjoy your DAY OFF!!!!!

Libby's Library said...

I used to be the same way...but I made a pie with Crisco, and now I can say NO. Hee-Hee!

farmlady said...

You and I have a lot in common. But.., we are learning.
That woman got your messages in more ways than one. Sometimes you have got to take care of yourself. It's OK..., I keep telling myself.

Caroline said...

I'm the same way, always saying yes when I should say no. I'm slowly learning, but it's a hard road

Bz said...

If you weren't so young, you could be my momma... she's the SAMMMMMME way... I knew there was a reason I liked you! ...Not cause you're so nice (well, that too), but cause you remind me of her and I happen to like my mom.
Ohh, ummm...uhhh... the shirt picture ... ummm... (dad-gum they took some brain cells out along with baby).... it's coming...BUT, you know, in the pic of the 3 of us on my last post.... Miss E is wearing THE SHIRT. You can just see part of the body of one of the geckos and the tail of another.

Robynn's Ravings said...

I think it's that uterus we're born with. It has an override device each time we wanna say no. So I had mine removed.

And I kissed a guy with chicken lips on my first kiss. It wasn't that I couldn't say no unless you paired it with "NO BRAINS!"

I'm glad you had the guts to tell the mom at the door "NO!" At least you didn't pair it with "HELL!"

I hope you had a GREAT DAY!!!!!!! Did you choose the good stretchy pants?

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Can't we all relate to this?! But good for you for saying NO! You need to carve out time for you...or you won't be any good for you or anyone else! So glad you got to enjoy your day, after all! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!! ~Janine XO


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