My (not so ) Secret Crisco Obsession

I have to thank Libby at Nea's Nuttiness for this post. Whether you thank her by the time I'm done, may be another story altogether.

I like Crisco, okay? I like baking with it and nuthin' but nuthin' beats it, for making a flaky pie crust, as far as I'm concerned.

I used to use regular and butter flavor Crisco all the time... and the butter flavor was perfect for Nestle's Toll House Cookies.

But here in Australia, Crisco is rarer than hen's teeth and unfortunately, I haven't made a good flaky pie crust in almost 14 years. You can buy Copra here, which is classed as a solid vegetable shortening, but it's made with coconut oil and flesh and has a definite coconut-y taste. Plus it's not just solid, it's hard, (think refrigerated butter) so even when you use it in cooking, once it cools, it hardens... and becomes almost brittle. There's none of the wonderful velvety texture or smooth almost non-existent flavor of Crisco brand solid vegetable shortening.

I just don't like the flavor, the texture or the waxy feel that Copra leaves in your mouth, because it doesn't really blend... you know?

Here's a definition of Copha:

Copha is a form of vegetable shortening made from coconut oil and flesh. It is popular in Australia - it is used in many recipes for children, such as chocolate crackles, made from Kellogg's Rice Bubbles, copha, and chocolate.

Now, to get back to the Crisco story...

I've never seen Crisco ( other than Crisco oil, which is readily available) in the grocery stores, but I can order a can from USA Foods in Melbourne.

See?

Crisco 1lb
1lb
$6.99
Crisco 3 lb
3lb
$14.99
Crisco 6 lb can
6 lb
$24.99
Crisco sticks - Out of stock
20 oz
$6.29

Now, those prices aren't too bad ( although I have to admit they give me severe heart palpitations) but when you add the exorbitant postage costs on to that, we're talking BIG bucks and I just can't justify it.

So I carry on. I whinge and grizzle and I come right to the very edge of obsession.

I admit it. I love my Crisco.

However...

I've been told that Crisco is readily available here in Australia... but you just have to go into Sex Shops to get it. Yep, you heard me right.

Here in Australia, Crisco is a sexual aid. It's used for errmmmmmm.... I dunno. I think if I allowed myself to think hard enough, I might come up with an explanation, but I don't even want my mind to go there!

(When I googled "Crisco photos", suddenly I saw more than I bargained for... and had to quickly divert my poor eyes.

Go on...go for it... I dare ya)

Somewhere in Australia right at this very minute, 2 guys are sitting around the breakfast table... and 1 guy is saying stuff like " Dick, I'm feeling romantic, so why don't you stop by Dildo's R Us on your way home from work tonight, and pick us up a can of Crisco?"

No offence boys... but just just the thought of Crisco being used for anything other than flaky pie crust, well... it kind of puts me off my cookies, you know?

So there ya have it in a nutshell.

I miss my Crisco.

But I'm NOT obsessed.