Tuesday, March 24, 2009

You know I love my Old Guy... right?

I DO love him, but I'm sad to say that he has... ermmmm... QUIRKS.

Irritating Quirks.
Maddening Quirks
Now I understand why I never want to get married, Quirks.

See, my grass is knee high and he's been promising to mow it for like the last 3 months.
I need it mowed because of work regulations and it's driving me batty.
Well, batty-er than usual, anyway.

Well, first he claimed that there wasn't enough grass to warrant dragging out the mower.
Okay, I'll admit there isn't much grass there, but there are knee-high dandelions and cape weed... so the lawn is looking like a messy flower garden with brown grass mulch! And I know there are snakes and tigers out there, just creeping around.

Then he claimed it was too hot to mow.
Fair enough.... 115F is too hot to do much of anything.

Then he claimed that it was too nice a day, to spend it mowing.
And when the weather is too nice to spend mowing, he prefers to go shopping for totally useful items like rice cookers and battery operated potato peelers. In enclosed malls where he doesn't even know what the weather is like, outdoors.

Yesterday, he promised faithfully that he would mow the lawn today, before the children end up getting swallowed up in the jungle that used to be my lawn. Or bitten by snakes and tigers.

And today?
Today it's raining.
Glorious, glorious rain... but he can't mow when it's raining!!!

The rain started about an hour ago and it's a good drenching rain... so all that he will get accomplished today, is using the battery operated potato peeler to peel some potatoes.
He'll say that he can't mow the lawn for at least a week, until the ground and the weeds dry up.
Yeah.... right.
Sooooo... I'm thinking of getting him a tattoo for his birthday.... What do you think?

At least someone will be using a lawn mower around here !!!


Robynn's Ravings said...

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our husbands may be members of the same underground club that forbids yard work in any form. I have a lawn guy who does the front but there IS no lawn in the back - it used to be a garden and play area for the kids. The kids are no longer kids. Now it is a play area for bugs and weeds and, trust me, they're havin' a BALL.

Physically, I can't do what needs to be done out there and I hired the lawn guy because my DH would say the same thing: too dry, too wet, too hot, too short, too long. TOO MUCH! I requested a lawn mower for Mother's Day one year and got it. I did the lawn for a few years but then bailed and hired this wonderful man who takes care of it. Can't afford to send him to the backyard. I may never see him again.

Oh WHY don't we live closer than a continent or two apart?!

Neas Nuttiness said...

Oh I can't complain about this...cause hubby and older son do this regularly. Now I had been complaining about the weed situation, but that was taken care of last Friday and Saturday. I was told that it had rained every weekend while I was gone, so I had to forgive them for not having things "just right" when I got home.

I think that I need to head to the pantry, grab some Crisco, and bake them a pie!

Good luck with the yard...I rooting for you.

JCWillow99@gmail.com..( Cassie) said...

I think I would give up and hire someone and make him pay for it, than maybe he will mow next time.
Men can be so stubborn sometimes and I think they all have quirks.

Kathy said...

Oh yeah, quirks r us here in Oregon. My hubby will mow because he has a riding mower and he is like a little boy when he is riding it. It is hardly work. In fact that is just about all I have been able to get him to do in the last year. He spends most of his time sitting in his recliner watching Cops, Andy Griffith or The Beverly Hillbillies. Give me strength!!! We all need to ban together and take action!! But you know he's a nice guy and I love him. He really does have some redeeming qualities.

SassyDog said...

Buy a goat! A miniature horse maybe! Maybe some sexy lingerie! Best of luck on that lawn, girlfriend!

Tatersmama said...

Robynn, I think if you and I picked the same kind of guys, we must be sisters or something...hmmm?
I would do it if I could, but with a house full of rugrats, it makes it next to impossible for me to mow, unless I do it in the dark. You wouldn't want to trade, would you? I KNOW! Instead of a whoopie cushion, could you just send me your hubby or oldest son?
Cassie, we have seperate hoseholds, so he figures if I hire someone, I should pay for it. And I DID have a spunky hunky ex-Manpower lawn guy... thinking to make him jealous. It didn't work. So when Mr Spunky quit, I ended up with an old guy, thinking of working the poor old man pity angle. That didn't work either. So when the old lawn mower guy had a heart attack and can't get around anymore, MY guy promised he would do it for me for the same price.
I guess I'll just have to call someone out of the paper... and maybe look for another "County Connections" guy at the same time!
Kathy, Well I guess I could always invest in a ride-on mower... that MIGHT do the trick???
Do they make one with a sink and laundry room, so I can still do all the other endless chores at the same time?
Do you mean that you love MY guy and think he has redeeming qualities... or are you talkin' about YOUR guy? LOL!
SassyDog, There's a thought! I could always get a goat...because sexy lingerie is basically out of the question with my being up to my eyeballs in kids and all... *sigh*

Bz said...

I vote for a goat. They can live on anything and leave little pebbles instead of heaps. Just don't let the kids collect little "rocks".

Paula said...

This is hysterical! Love the little mowing tatoo! Ha!

Nancy M. said...

He seems to like to procrastinate little, huh? I can't say much, I do that myself from time to time.

I know it's aggravating because you want something done. I hope you'll be able to get the yard mowed before you lose a kid!

The W.O.W. factor! said...

I've seen this before and it is so fitting for so many!!! Is hubby bald enough for it? Mine is, but the lawn mowing is MY "job". I'm such a fanatic about the way it is mowed, I hate it when he's had to do it on an occasion..
I'll come mow for you so then we can sit on your porch drinking coffe, gossiping and wooing Sam!

(but NOT if you have tigers hiding out!!)

flowrgirl1 said...

Love the tattoo! Suprise him with a trip to the tattoo shop!

I think all men are members of the no mowing on a nice day or bad day club.

Im glad that muddy boot dreams featured your blog this week. Thanks for sharing your stories!


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