Saturday, April 11, 2009

Happy Easter, my friends

I wish I were home in Murphys right now.
I wish I were standing at the side of my daughters grave, with a crowd of people around, dressed in their finest or their warmest, draped in blankets, with fuzzy hats pulled down over their eyes and babies swaddled to the point where you can't tell who is who. Easter hats and cowboy hats, mingling together for one sole purpose.

I wish I could hear the quiet murmur of voices, as we wait in anticipation for Pastor Gary to begin the service and then those same quiet, murmuring voices raised in praise as the sun peaks over the mountain and through the trees - showing us his promise.
I want to be with my loved ones, standing there anticipating the gift of what Jesus promised to us.

The first Easter after my daughter died... well, that was one of the hardest I had ever gone through, but it was at the same time, one of the most joyous and heartfelt ones of all.
Because I had the promise that my daughter - and later on, my son - would be returned to me.
They, just like Jesus, will arise... and we will spend eternity together.

Jesus died for us... and in return, in my humble and faltering way, I try and live each day for him.

I fail to live up to my expectations most of the time, but I hope in the deepest part of my heart that Jesus will appreciate the effort, if not necessarily the results!

I'm a failure.
I'm weak.
I make mistakes and don't live up to my own expectations, let alone anyone elses..

But on this day, more so than at any other day or time of the year, I have no doubt that Jesus loves me in spite of it all.

Thank you Jesus, for the greatest gift of all.
Thank you for giving yourself, so we all might live and know glory in Gods Holy Kingdom.

"I asked Jesus ... "How much do you love me "
And Jesus said ... "This much."
Then He stretched out His arms and died."


Robynn's Ravings said...

Katie, dear friend of mine, I am rejoicing with you in the promise of seeing your children again. I cannot imagine the terrible pain that must be. Who can imagine that fully who hasn't lived it? But I'm so glad for your beautiful heart and your peace and for what that Easter Sunrise service brought you.

Many blessings to you today. That was such a beautiful post.

Bz said...

He knows your heart.
A beautiful post, indeed.
Blessings to you.

Tatersmama said...

Robynn... Thank you! I love this day more than any other day of the year I think... because of that promise.
I hope you and your family have a Blessed and Happy Easter!
Bz, Thank you for the kind words.
Blessing to you and yours as well, my friend!

Denise said...

What a beautiful post. You have a warm and caring heart. I to rejoice in knowing that I will someday get to dance with my mother again and see her smiling face. have a wonderful Easter and know you are cared for.

Kathy said...

Beautiful entry. I know he knows your heart also. Blessings to you and your old man on this Easter. Sunrise services are so special.

Nancy M. said...

Beautiful! None of us measure up. That's exactly why He died for us. I just went to a funeral today and we rejoiced because we'll see her again someday.

jennypilgrim said...

You are not a failure. You might not be perfect but there was only one perfect. You bring so much joy to all who read your blog. You are in my prayers today more than usual.


Tatersmama said...

Denise, It takes one to know one!
The thought of you dancing with your mother gain, put a smile on my face, so thank you sooo much...
Kathy, Blessings to you and yours as well. Have a very Happy Easter, my friend!
Nancy, I'm so sorry for your loss, but you're so right... just think of the rejoicing later!
Have a Blessed Easter!
Jenny, Thank You hun! And please wish your daddy a happy belated Birthday for me as well!

Anonymous said...

Happy Easter TatersMama!
What a beautiful Easter post.

It is hard for us all to measure up to our own expectations.
What a great gift we await!


Anonymous said...

Katie, how heartfelt, I truly am sorry for your great loss, that I was unaware of, God bless. I too am struggling this Easter.

Neas Nuttiness said...

What a beautiful post.

I love you my Katie Tatie, and wish that I could wave a magic wand...and would be in Murphys and I would be standing by your side. My arms would be around you, sharing your burdens...and rejoicing with the knowledge that you will be with your children again.

Praying that you may have joy and peace, this Easter, and always.

Anonymous said...

Wishing you continued peace and blessings this Easter.

Paula said...

I pray that almost every night too. I pray that I know I am a failure, I know that I don't life up to my own expectations much less his...that is so sadly ironic but comforting knowing others feel the same way. I am so sorry for your losses. I too pray that my two babies lost to me will be waiting for me on the other side one day. I know God takes care of them for me with my beloved ones and hope that he grants me passage as well.

I so look forward to your blog, whether it is a laugh, a cry, a thought or just a oh that was nice, it is worth looking forward to.

Andrea said...

This was a beautiful post....your faith comes shining through. Happy Easter. :)

SassyDog said...

I, too have 2 babies in Heaven, my parents and others. I get by knowing we will be together again just because of this Easter day. Katie, thank you for being such a wonderul friend across the oceans! HAve a very blessed day as you certainly deserve it! Love you!!

rubiesrnotpurple said...

You are never a failure my friend ... sometimes you just fall down before you finish.
Thank you for sharing yourself.

SassyDog said...

This was so beautiful I just had to read it again this morning!

Homestay Mama said...

Katie, that was beautiful, just beautiful! I couldn't have said it even half that good!

Blessings, dear friend as you rejoice in the promise of seeing your son and daughter again in Heaven. I'm rejoicing right along with you!


Homestay Mama said...

Oh, and Katie, that is an awesome photo you posted today! Love it!


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