Well... not really, but you know me... (insert rolling eyes here)
See, I was talkin' to Miz Rubie's on the phone last night ( and talkin' and talkin'... You know, like girls do) and she said something that just pure tickled my funny bone. Oh, it wasn't really funny, funny, but I think that's half the fun in laughing your arse off... There's no rhyme or reason to it.
Anything can set it off.
We were discussing a errrmmmm friend, when Miz Rubie's mentioned the little theme garden that this errrrm friend, had done for her little daycare children.
You know the stuff... a corner of the garden with little ferns and rocks and you put those little plastic dinosaurs all around and Voila! (or you could say Bob's ur Uncle/yeeeehaw or some-such)... you have an instant theme garden.
Anyway, while she was talking about some kind of water theme this person had used in a particular area of the yard, I was busy stuffing my face with semi-stolen Easter basket candy and I may have been distracted a bit. So when she said "seahorses", I thought she had in fact said "fetuses"... and I just lost it.
I started laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe... I was doubled over, my eyes were streaming... flecks of stolen Easter chocolate were shooting from my mouth, the words to the Beatles Ocopuses Garden were running through my head ... and I had to pee my pants so bad, I had to put the phone down and go visit the little girls room.
Rubie's is snorting and wooohooooing her arse off... I'm snorting and woooohooooing my arse off... but if I don't put this phone down right now, I'm gonna have to mop the floor.
So I put the phone down and off to the loo I went... where I made an interesting discovery.
I can not pee and laugh at the same time. At least while seated. Upright, it's obviously somewhat different.
Every time I started to do what I had gone in there for, I started laughing at the idea of a water-themed garden with little sea-horse fetuses growing under bushes all over again...
the words "I'd like to be under the sea, In an octopus' garden in the shade" kept running through my head
...and I just couldn't go for laughing so hard.
Sea.....Wooooooohaha horsehahahh snort snort weeeeeeeehohohohoh! Unhh Unhhh... waaaaahahaha!
I was dyin' there!!
Anyway, to make a long story short ( hey, I heard you say thank God - so don't think I didn't ) we eventually got off the phone (after 231 minutes (Rubie's... I owe ya)) and I started tidying up around the house, so I could go to bed. But I kept starting the wooooahahhahahaseahorsehahaha business all over again.
I eventually got to bed, pulled my book out from under the covers and attempted to read. But I just couldn't do it. I started in laughing my arse off, over and over again ... so rather than attempt to read through teary, watery eyes, I just put the book down, turned off the light and attempted to go to sleep.
Which I eventually did.
But THREE TIMES, I woke myself up, laughing my head off - and had to head for the loo again.
Where the whole business would start all over again. (insert rolling eyes and a heartfelt *sigh* here)
I managed to get through the rest of the night with no problems, woke refreshed and rested and headed to the kitchen to make the coffee. I dropped the spoon, and as I bent over to pick it up, my tummy muscles screamed in protest and I instantly thought "oh my goodness... some thing's seriously wrong with me! Is it appendicitis? A hernia? Some sort of life-threatening prolapse of my non-existent girlie-bits"?
And then it hit me.
It was from laughing so hard for hours straight last night... and I instantly started in whooopwhoopwoooooooooooohahahaa'in, all over again.
Okay, now that it's all written down in black and white, it looks kind of lame.
And it doesn't seem quite so funny anymore. uhnunh hooooounh!!!
I guess you just had to be there.