Saturday, February 21, 2009

Goodbye Cruel World - part 2

I'm alive, I'M ALIVE!

Sort of. I managed to mostly sleep it off and now I'm just dealing with a hangover-type headache and the nausea. No chucking, and no pounding my brain with a jackhammer... so life is semi-good once again. I've got my darkest sunglasses on, an ice pack on my neck and the house is as dark as a tomb, so there might be hope for me yet.
Now all I need is a super strong espresso with lots of extra sugar and I might start to feel human again.

Treatments and cure-alls? There's no such thing I'm afraid.
At least not for this little brown duck anyway.
See, I've always used Cafergot and it almost always works.. although I can only handle the rectal suppository version of it.
Taking it orally never really works, because it always ends up being up-chucked - and unfortunately, if I'm not desperately trying to sleep off the migraine, or thinking of putting a sharpened stake through my brain, I'm doing my best to vomit up my toenails.

But rectal Cafergot suppositories ALWAYS worked for me, especially if I had someone handy to insert them. There were a couple of years when I was no longer married, that I thought about getting into a relationship with anyone ...and I mean ANYONE... I didn't care who it was.
I didn't give a rats patootie. It could have been Charles Manson for all I cared ... just so that someone would be handy to shove those waxy little miracle bullets up my bum.

So when I moved to Oz and started in getting the bad ones again, I went to doctor after doctor... and no Cafergot. Then I finally found a doctor that said "Yes indeedy, we do have Cafergot here, so I can give you a script for that. " And he did.
But it's not actually Cafergot.

They call it cafergot, but I'm here to tell you that it is NOT the same thing that I used for 30 years. It's a Cafergot wannabe.
It does not work.
Oh, it takes the edge off, a teeny tiny little bit, but it does NOT alleviate the headache at all. It does not work miracles. And when I'm in agony, I want a miracle.
And with the "good stuff" - the original stuff that I used and relied on for decades - I was willing to suffer any indignities necessary, when it came to asking someone to insert the 2nd, 3rd and 4th dose, ( I can do the first, but I'm too groggy for the next 3) because I knew that it was gonna work in just a few hours and I would soon be feeling back to normal again.

But with the Aussie version, it doesn't work well enough to even think about going through the humiliation of asking someone to stand by and insert things up my bottom. (like you really want to know that...right?)
I dunno what it is. Less of the secret ingredient... a sucky, watered down imitation-version of the key ingredient?
I just don't know. But when I say Cafergot here, what I ask for and what I actually get isn't the same thing at all.
It's like comparing The Real Thing... Coca Cola, to a cheap, store brand of cola.
Don't even go there, because you're not fooling me... one little whit.
So I'll say it again...
I can NOT get Cafergot in this country. Even though technically, I can.

I've tried it all. Hot packs, cold packs, massage, acupuncture, acupressure, HRT, beta-blockers, eliminating certain foods from my diet.... Whew, the list goes on and on.
I do have to say that acupuncture did work for about 6 months (and when we're talking about my migraines, that's like all my Christmases rolled into one) but I've never been able to find another decent acupuncturist since I moved to Oz.

Strong black coffee with 4-6 sugars helps a bit.
Coke (ya gotta drink it fast) and 2 Ibuprofen helps a bit.
Having the soles of my feet massaged really, really hard helps a bit.
Gently massaging the occipital bone of my skull helps a bit.
Soaking my feet in really hot water helps a bit.
There are a lot of things that "help a bit", but I crave something that will help a LOT - not just "a bit"... you know?
The only thing that truly, truly works, is Cafergot and sleeping it off.

I've been dealing with these suckers for 52 years.
When I was a kid, they were diagnosed as "Juvenile Migraines" and I was told that I would outgrow them. Well, I did outgrow them... but once I stopped being a juvenile, they morphed into the adult version, with nary a hiccup or a break in between.

Then they told me that they might be hormone-related ...and after having my hysterectomy, they might just disappear entirely.
That was another *guess* on their part. All I lost was my girly-guts.

One doctor even told me that only very intelligent people know ... people with high IQ's , get migraines. The smarter you are, the more intense the migraine pain.
If that's true, I certainly haven't been living up to my full potential, now have I ?
Because if that little theory is correct, Albert Einstein would have nothing us " migraine suffers", would he?

Year before last, I had a 28 day migraine. I was going to the doctor every single day for 28 days and he would give me an injection, saying "this one will work". He said that to me 28 times - which makes him a big fat liar.
I would go home, stagger to bed and sleep like a baby, but the damn thing would still be there when I woke up again.
After 28 days of injections, I woke up one morning and it was suddenly gone.
Just GONE !!!
I ended up with a week of the "hangover affect" and couldn't eat anything for the week, but the intense pain was gone! And I praised Jesus!

A week later, that sucker was back again, but it was pretty short-lived and minor...
I was hoping that after suffering intensely and agonizingly for 28 days in a row, it would mean no more migraines for a year or two... but it just didn't work out that way.

I'm feeling okay this morning, but just to err on the side of caution, I've cancelled all my kids until Tuesday and I plan on staying in my cave - with my sunglasses on, until then.

Now... I'm gonna try and catch up on what y'all have been doing. ;-)


jennypilgrim said...

Bless your heart. I have been praying for you. I am glad you are a teeny bit better. Hang in there.


Tatersmama said...

Thanks darlin'! It means a lot to me, that you've been praying.. and it worked!

Paula said...

Glad it is a bit better today...nothing like cave dwelling..You know I just heard on the news here that there is an actual cave for sale...This guy built a house into the was pretty cool he is selling it on if you have to live in a cave....

tatertales said...

I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time. I hope you feel better soon. Rest up!

Andrea said...

You've been in my thoughts...glad it's a bit better today. :)

Cayleigh said...

Thank goodness you are a bit better. I've thought about you all day. Hope tomorrow is blissful for you! :-)

Paula said...

Oops, posted under my daughter's account. The above note from Cayleigh is actually from me!

rubiesrnotpurple said...

I've often wondered if a chainsaw applied to the neck would help but when a migraine strikes, who the **** can start a chainsaw.
I'm glad you're still with us - at least a little bit with us. I hope you're over the worst of it. Rest my friend.

Bz said...

Hmmm... like you said, makes me wonder if the Aussie Cafergot (sp?) is watered down. Wonder if you can find the amount of active ingredient in the US version and compare and then to the Aussie version ...and if it's lower ...then double, triple, quadruple (or whatever the difference is) ... just do that many more.
Oh boy though... don't "paint" THAT pic for me... it could be a doozie.

Kathy said...

Wow! you have the worst migraines I have ever heard of. I used to have them but nothing like you do. I am glad you are feeling better and hope you don't get another until you can find the meds in full strength. Have you tried online?

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh my GOSH my poor friend!!!

What an ordeal you describe and 28 days? I can't believe you hung in there that long and didn't look for someone to shoot you. Forget about someone to give you a boost to the bottom. That kind of pain is truly unbearable.

I'm glad you are getting a little relief and I so hope this passes away very, very quickly. I can't even believe you can think to write. MANY PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!for you! xoxoxox

Sooziebelle said...

I am confused about the Cafergot issue. As I said, I had NO PROBLEMS getting it in Australia! As for it being something different here in Australia, I doubt very much that would be the case, as Cafergot is made by Novartis, a Swiss company, and is distributed all over the world, which includes Australia AND the US. The Aussie suppositories have 2mg of ergotamine tartrate and are made by Novartis, just like the ones in the US! So ... ????

But if you are still not trusting of the Aussie version, all you have to do is order them from the US. You can even have your doc write you a script if you are worried about bringing it into the country illegally. Just get on the net and Google Caferot in US and you will find a whole bunch of people just foaming at the mouth waiting to send you some Cafergot from the US. But it's gotta be the same stuff. Why don't you email the Novartis company, just to make sure?

Having migraines is NO FUN and you deserve to be able to use something that works for you. Fortunately, Imigran works like magic for me.

Homestay Mama said...

Tatersmama, First I've got to say that I'm very sorry you're feeling so awful. But I'm glad your migraines leave your humor intact! This post was a hoot! Even though I was feeling sorry you were in pain, you still had me ROFL through your whole post! You sure have a way with words! :-)

Homestay Mama said...

Tatersmama, how can you be so darn funny when you're in so much pain?! I felt guilty for laughing but your post was a hoot!

I'm truly sorry you're hurting, but oh, do I wish I had your gift of humor!


SassyDog said...

I used to have to give my daughter phenagren suppositories for migraines since she threw up everything else. She would beg for the bullet and bendover. I had forgotten about that til now. I am very glad you feel somewhat better! Even tho you are so sick, you still manage to make us laugh! Love you, Katie!!!

Pam said...

Wow! I'm glad you're doing better.

Queenie said...

so glad you are on the mend. it sounds so unbelieveably horrible for you. sending all my energy to you!

Robynn's Ravings said...

Just checkin' back on you and hoping you're doing better. OxOxOOxxXooO (Think Nacho Libre if you ever saw the movie - LOVED it).

Paula said...

Just checking back in ... hope you are feeling better today.

Neas Nuttiness said...

So glad that you're better. You must have sent it my way, cause I started seeing "stars" Saturday night.

I decided to be a gig girl and go to church with my daughter and grandsons. I hobbled in, with my crew carrying my purse, a pillow, and a blanket. I plopped myself down and looked up, and there was my doctor sitting on the stand. I forgot that he would be a Steph's building this Sunday. Bless his heart, he got up and came over to me, and whispered "I'm not saying that you have to...but it would be best if you kept your leg elevated." Dear sweet man. I let him know that I brought the essentials, and that I would be propping my big ole leg up.

I took up three seats...One for the big butt and 2 for the leg!
Any-hoo, the "stars" started showing up about half way through the first hour (for us, church runs 3 hours on Sundays),and then the nausea hit... and I thought that my left eye was going to burst.

My daughter sent a text to her brother, and then headed out to meet him "half way" between Winter Haven and Lake Wales. I got some Imetrex from him, and THANK GOD, I started felling better after a couple of hours.

May we all stay Migraine Free Forever!!!

The W.O.W. factor said...

Glad it's getting better, but now, with today's "Sister" post..I hope it doesn't come to haunt you into oblivion again...
28 days? and 28 injections?
Think I'd have just shot myself...

Tatersmama said...

Paula, Hey, it sounds good ! And it could be rented out for moments like this eh? I want one!!

Tatertales, Andrea and Paula.. I'm feeling back to normal finally...thanks for your well wishes!

Rubies, The chainsaw idea sounds good, but the thought of the noise it makes makes me sick to my stomach!

Bz, I think I figured it out. I started smoking just shortly before I moved here ( I know, I know!!) and I think the two counteract with each other. One's a vaso-dialator and the other's a vaso-constictor - so the smoking cancels out the benefits of the cafergot.
That's enough to convince me to stop smoking...

Kathy, They're not always that bad...Really they aren't. I only get one or 2 "doozies" a year, thank God!

Robynn, the thing I regret most is that I took off work because of the headache. What a waste of precious "down time", eh?

Sooziebelle, See above. The ciggies are to blame. I'm 100% sure of it.

Homestay Mama, I was feeling much better by the time I wrote the post. When it's bad, even the idea of hearing myself breathe makes me want to curl up and die.
By the time it starts to ease off, keeping sunglasses on and keeping one eye closed, makes it mainly bearable.
Thanks for the kind words, but you've got your own gift darlin'... You really do. ;-

SassyDog, Well since you're already versed in the "assume the position" method, I might give you a call one of these days, eh? Just don't tell anyone about the cellulite on my bottom, okay?

Pam, Queenie, Robynn and Paula,
I'm feeling 98% better. I really am... but thanks for caring! You girls make this blogging thing so enjoyable!!!

Libby, OMGoodness! I'm glad that you could nip it in the bud! It's not catching, I swear it isn't!
I'll second that statement. May we all stay migraine free FOREVER!!!

Barb, You can't get guns in this country, or I might have been tempted. The idea of the noise would have probably put me off though. ;-)
Sadly,I've been dealing with my little sister for 52 years now, so this story is really nothing new.

Muddy Boot Dreams said...

You know that I just found out about your blog yesterday. And today I am reading about your migraines. After suffering from them since I was 13, I realize now that it was nothing compared to you.

What on earth is going on? they can send people out to space, but they cannot find a working migraine medication for you?

There is a study going on in Canada, and they will be using a diabeties drugs to stop the migraines. I hope that someday you will have access to it.

Meanwhile, here's hoping that you find some relief from this terrible pain.



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