Monday, November 17, 2008

Warning. Yucky stuff.

I woke up this morning with every intention of sharing a favorite recipe with y'all. I really did. My favorite chicken spaghetti recipe. It's delicious.

But... while I was in the shower this morning, something popped into my head and it just wouldn't leave. It was one of the thoughts that make your hiney cringe, makes you shudder all over in disgust, but it just won't leave ya alone until you do a little research on it and find out "why?". Me and my handy-dandy little Google finger, eh? You can find almost anything on Google if you set your mind to it.
Anyway, it was a toss-up between a nice little recipe that you might enjoy and might just fix for your loved ones this weekend, or the subject of....... anal bleaching .

Anal bleaching.. WTH ??? Why?? Why would some people want to do it in the first place, not to mention how do they know that they even need to have their patootie crevasse bleached? Who told them? Could they see it for themselves? Lawd knows... I can't see my hiney crack and I have absolutely no desire to. Who does this kind of stuff? Has your mother-in-law had a bleach job, or maybe your best friend from high school? Your child's 2nd grade teacher or maybe the nice woman who teaches Sunday School - you know.. the one who wears her hair in a bun?

No? How would you know ? And before you say, "oh my friends would never do that" - how do you KNOW for sure? Because I can't see too many relationships or friendships - no matter how close they may be - sharing this little tidbit. Can you really imagine some one saying: "Oh Mary.. you'll never guess what I had done last week... I had my anus bleached, and it looks great ! It's such a big difference !!! Do you want to see??"

here's what Wiki says :

Anal bleaching is the practice of bleaching the pigmentation of the skin of light-skinned people around the anus. It is used for cosmetic purposes. A cream is used containing around 20% hydroquinone (a suspected carcinogen banned by several countries) as an active ingredient.

And another site says :
While rectal bleaching isn't for everyone, some people are interested in maintaining a youthful look...everywhere.

Okey dokey, so I have to accept that some people do actually have it done, but is it like getting your teeth whitened? Do you have to schedule to have it re-done every year, when those pesky stains re-appear?
See, I use a special toothpaste once a week, that's made of the same stuff that dentists use to clean and whiten your teeth and it works.... So could I use the toothpaste and an electric toothbrush on my hiney wedgie and save myself thousands of dollars in doctors fees? Not to mention saving myself the embarrassment of fronting.. ermmm, make that backing up to a doctor with my nether regions in the air? And how in the world does it make you look more
youthful? Do you end up with a perky hiney...(errmmm you know so I'm not gonna say it, but it rhymes with mole) that makes people say "Oh my goodness... Alice is certainly aging well, isn't she? I hardly recognized her ! Have you seen her bum button yet??"

See, if I ever had a boob enhancement ( not that I ever would, because I'm perfectly happy with the way God made me) there's a good chance that I might want to wear lower-cut tops... tighter t-shirts or whatever, so people could actually see what I had done. Put them puppies on display, as it were... Show 'em where I spent my hard earned money.
But do you bare your hiney crack on the bus or at parties, so that people can see how you got your money's worth.. and try to elicit positive and uplifting comments on your "bum youthfulness"?
Or maybe show them where your ex-husband's alimony money is being spent?

This is just so weird. Even weirder than me talking about it, which is almost beyond weird-ness - even for me.
If you've had it done, please feel free to share.. and tell me ( and a million other blog-readers) what it's like.

Just no photos, thank you very much.


morning sunshine said...

oh i am in tears! lol

Sherri said...

I must admit that when I first saw the title of this one, I really wasn't expecting this. I must say though, thanks for the laugh, now hand me the tissues.
P.S. does it have to be the special stuff or will Clorox and an old laundry brush work?.....LMOA


FEEDJIT Live Traffic Map

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

Thanks for visiting!

Thank you Libby!

Honest Scrap Award

Honest Scrap Award
Powered By Blogger