Going to my cave now... Goodbye cruel world.

It's just been one thing after another this last week and although each "thing" has been fairly minor, if you add them all up, they equal one BIG headache.
A migraine, to be exact. The mother of all headache pain.

I knew I was working up to it, with the dreaded prodromes hitting late Thursday afternoon. Which in my case is:

food cravings - particularly bread with globs and globs of butter
constipation or diarrhea (in my case,both... like you're dying to know)
mood changes — depression, irritability, etc.

(Don't LOOK at me that way... I'm warnin' you)
muscle stiffness, especially in the neck

pins and needles or partial paralysis
fatigue
increased frequency of peeing

(hello toilet, my old friend)

difficulty performing mental tasks

feeling cold

( trailing blankets and toilets do not mix)
hyperactivity
thirst
euphoria.

Sometimes, I can stave off an attack... with meds or even diet changes, but 80% of the time, there's not a bloody stinkin' thing I can do about it... and I just have to let it run it's course. The funny thing is, that sometimes if the prodromes are bad enough, the migraine ends up being fairly minor. (Yeah, right. Like being hit over the head with a 10 lb sledgehammer, instead of having a 20 lb jackhammer jarring my brain, can ever be termed "minor" pain)

Then again, a "light dose" of prodromes and a bad case of the auras can result in either a mild migraine or a "would somebody please just cut my head off and stop this agony - I just wanna DIE" migraine.

I know all this, because I've been getting severe migraines for 52 years and I've been keeping a migraine diary for almost 30 years now.

It makes for interesting reading, especially when I get to the aural stage. Then, you would think a 5 year old wrote it. A 5 year old mental patient. A 5 year old mental patient who's taken LSD and is hallucinating their a$$ off while learning to write at the same time.

Then last night just before 11 pm, the aura reared it's ugly head. I started in smelling a combination of dirty, dirty, smelly socks and moldy oranges... and an hour later, it was like I was living in a boxed Monet painting - with wiggly and straight lines running through everything. Colors shift, figures waver and weave like mirages in the desert and I constantly feel like I'm going to fall over.

Sometimes... if I'm very, very good , if the moon is in the right phase, the stars are all in perfect alignment, Lucy's in the Sky with Neil Diamonds and I can get the meds into me fast enough, I can sleep it off...

But at other times, I dread going to bed, knowing what the potential end result is gonna be.

So... the end result is that I woke up at 2 this morning with a bowling ball lodged behind my right eyeball, my left nostril running like someone has turned on a faucet,

( I'm sporting the "single-tusked walrus" look with a tissue up my nose as we speak - Sorry for that visual) a stiff neck and no feeling in my feet, yet euphoric at the same time... and I have approx. 3 more hours before the jackhammer from hell starts.

Keep me in your prayers, people. I'm going down for the count, but like General MacArthur said :

"I Shall Return".

Postscript:

The spacing on this post looks all weird and "gap-py to me, so if this is too hard to read or understand... just shoot me.

Please.

Just shoot me.